


Island Paradise

by sureva



Category: Free!, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternative Universe - Gems, Alternative Universe - Steven Universe, Fusing, M/M, alternative universe, non-con elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2020-10-21 21:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20699789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sureva/pseuds/sureva
Summary: "I'd like to fuse with you.""Why?" Ai hesitated. "You've seen me try, and I'm... pretty useless."Rin heard the hurt in the gem's voice, but couldn't do anything. He had hoped getting clear would make it easier; but nothing in that island was ever easy and he found them stuck in the same old loop. He was sick of it."You're not", the red gem said."Out of all the people I've met, you are the most important."





	1. The island

It was a day as any other.

Ai had gotten up early, awakened to the sound of water. Running some errands, he now roamed around his island. The sun was already up high; each falling ray decorating the view with their extraordinary light. It was a fine day; added to the beauty of his home and the undisturbed peace settled around it, he wouldn’t change the moment to anything.

The gem had lived there for what felt like the most of his life. Standing alone in the sea, relentless waves hitting its shores, the isle was pretty much isolated; though Ai didn’t think about it that way. He enjoyed the tranquil setting the desolation offered. Things never changed around there; the loyalty, the composure and the predictability were important factors.

Cool wind on his skin, Ai strolled around the place; the forest, the meadow, and the riverside. Dirt and soft grass took turns underneath his soles as he passed by the waterfall. Rising above the treetops, its powerful hum always accompanied the garden, never leaving it tail off in silence. Ai loved its music, for it had always been there for his company. Even if all world fell apart, his island would not shiver, he thought; but the waterfall would always stand tall, hurriedly rushing its waters down the hill. It was just one of those things that never left. The steady flow of the river, the continuous bloom of the trees in the forest, the chirping of the exotic birds -the details of his marvelous home, the stability of it. The island offered him everything he needed; it was his supporter, caretaker and guardian, as much as he was its. 

Neatly placed just between his collar bones, the most remarkable part of his appearance; his gem, glowed its feeble light. The clear stone laid bare on his turtleneck-covered chest in its own cutout, reminding him of his origin. A white ribbon, firmly tied around his waist and ankles, kept the rest of his outfit from flowing, and it was all blue -a natural color for a water gem.

With good posture and long steps, he looked after his kingdom, making sure his home stayed always in its best. The continuous maintenance immersed him in the mundane activities -for time was something he had in his hands infinitely more than what he needed. Keeping busy, he groomed the recklessly rampaging hay of the meadow, and collected beautiful stones. Time flowed peacefully like the wind through his hair, and he was no longer present, but journeying somewhere in his thoughts. 

The grass changed to sand, as he stepped to the shining beach. The water greeted him gently, wave after wave. Its leisurely movement never came to an end, but kept pulling him back, back into the past. Ai’s thoughts roamed to the day he had arrived -it seemed to have happened hundreds of years ago. The isle had proved to be a secure fortress, a shield against the cruel outside world, and for that he had claimed the place as his own.  


Ai was afraid of the sea. The gem wouldn’t admit it easily -practically, a water gem wasn’t supposed to be like that. But the infinite view opening from the sand, of the bottomless, dark world terrified him. He could never consider leaving; his last visit to the outer world had happened such a long time ago… Ai moved his gaze back to the skyline. He didn’t want to think about it.

For the day was going to be so beautiful...

Little did he know, that the peace which he had so entreatingly built was not going to last.

The day had been strikingly normal so far, and Ai had treated it accordingly; but it wasn’t long before his routine was disturbed. Something was going to pieces on top of the hill, where the waterfall began. The loud clattering immediately snatched his attention from whatever he had been in the middle of, creating a painful contrast to the usual tranquility. 

The air was sliced through with the sounds of a battle, every hit making the trees jump. The small gem couldn’t see to the top from down there, but felt his bones shake ever so badly within the uproar. The nature was disturbed, too; too used to the inviolable peacefulness. It terrified him. What was happening on his beautiful little island?  


The gem knelt behind a rock a little off the hill. The cool sensation of the stone under his palms pulled him away for a moment. The inexplicable clatter ringing between his ears was numbing, invalidating his attempt to stay alert -until the boulder trembled as he leaned on it. The racket made the gem’s distressed form shake in the same resonance, a physical ache spurring through his body. Wide destruction must have occurred the upper reaches by now.

The sudden silence felt almost ear-splitting. The scene was over almost as soon as it had started; the fight was finished with a yell and a loud splash. Heart jumped in Ai’s chest. The latest sound had finally been recognizable;

it was a person.

The little gem ran to the river as fast as his legs could carry. No gem had visited his little isle since so long -he couldn’t recollect the number. Weeks? Months? The past didn’t matter, because now it had come to this -there was a visitor, at least one, and Ai was a bit afraid to meet them. They might have been in trouble, judging by the din, and the gem wasn’t sure if he wanted to take a part in that.  


He headed to the landing of the waterfall, praying that his suspicions weren’t right -and for a moment it seemed like his wish had been heard.

The surface of the water flooded calmly, dark waters rushing ahead and on top of each other in its own imaginary race. The gem peered carefully to the pit where the waterfall landed, but the water showed nothing out of the ordinary, but bubbled and foamed like it was used to. Ai furrowed his brows -he definitely hadn’t imagined the earlier havoc. Why couldn’t he find anything that supported it?  


The gem set off to walk alongside the shore, searching more restlessly. The current was strong -Ai couldn’t imagine that swimming up against it would end well. He hoped with all his heart that no one had got into the water, because the stream took off into the ocean. If they got that far, they would be washed away irretrievably in no time... Distress veiled Ai’s face just by the thought. Turning away, he felt like giving up already, but something caught his eye; and he realized that his searching had borne fruit.

Something stuck out of the water some way off in the river. It looked like a pile of clothes, and Ai had to squint his eyes to collect the whole picture. Little by little, a body of a man surfaced from underneath the mass of cold river water, and he was _red._

The gem gasped in horror. The finding got the circulation of his blood froze, as if his heart had flatlined for a second.  


The person in the water drifted uncontrollably, supported by the liquid. He turned from his back to floating face down, which declared Ai that they were unconscious. He couldn’t tell precisely if there really was blood, or how badly the man was hurt, but the situation unfolded serious nevertheless.

Instinctively, Ai spurted to run alongside the riverbed. He was still struggling to recover from the shock, but had a vague idea in the back of his head. The velocity of the water was formidable; far beyond the small one’s strength, and Ai wasn’t sure if he was enough to execute the plan. But he was willing to try: for there was so much of him that would not allow strangers to drown on his island.

So Ai ran, and called the water the same; it heard his command and slowed down a little, holding the stranger close to the surface. Then, it brought him nearer the shore. The body hit the edge, and Ai gathered all his might in order to pull him up. The river water did its part with getting the man out of the channel by supporting the move from below.

Not until the stranger’s feet were all the way off the death slide, was the little gem satisfied. Collapsing next to the man, Ai panted and heaved, exhausted by the operation.

After collecting his breath, his body supported him a bit shakily. The gem settled to sit beside the victim, carefully bending over to estimate the damage. A prompt overlook was enough to tell that he wasn’t wounded, but the red on his clothing had just led him on.  


Ai stooped warily over the unconscious one. Carefully, he brought his ear to his chest, close enough that his short-cut bangs were brushing against the wet fabric. Fingers gently fanned out to support the action, he rested his head on his chest until he was certain of the sound.

Heartbeats.

A rock rolling off his own, the boy pulled back. The man laid on the patches of grass motionless, like in a deep dream, waiting to be woken up. Chest rising and falling, his breathing trembled slightly; the sound raspy but steady. 

Ai studied him with curious, attentive eyes. The man was very different from him; covered in an uniform of a kind, his arms were smoothly toned. A sash had been thrown over his shoulder, fastened around his waist. The sharp, triangular pattern on it was a symbol of honor -he was a respected patron in his clan. Most likely a soldier, but what was he doing so far from any village? Hovering his hand in slight motions over the other, the gem erased the drops from his clothes and returned them to the riverbed. If it was his profession, the sounds of a fight probably weren’t that uncommon to him than what they were to Ai.  


The small gem felt a bit discouraged. Despite the man being unconscious, he couldn’t help feeling nervous for the moment he would wake up. He didn’t know what he had been up to in his island, or against who had he fought earlier. Shifting his knees, the water gem anxiously glanced away. He noticed them now; countless scars plastered all over his skin. Thoughts blurred his vision like mist, and he had to concentrate again.  


The mystery man had a thin line formed between his brows. Shifting his interest into the detail, Ai wondered if the man had a very stressful life, a short temper or both. His overgrown, flaming red hair was soaked and all over his face. Ai leaned closer to carefully pick the sticky locks out of the way, enjoying the personality of his appearance. The man was beautiful, and it made his tenseness melt, dissolving into the admiration of his character.

The had barely met, but the kindhearted gem was already willing to do everything on earth for him. Ai took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Holding two hands over the gem’s upper body, he concentrated on listening to the water.  


He could hear it in his lungs, sloshing. With small, concise gestures, he guided the water to move upwards in his throat, until a small trickle emerged from the side of his mouth. It was precise work; but Ai’s delicate fingers collected the liquid expertly. Like a magnet, Ai raised the surface and steered it out, his palm gently working just above the man’s lips.

Just when he thought he had done everything he could, the man came alive; abruptly and loudly. Springing up, he coughed the remaining water out of his system. He had bent forward so suddenly that Ai had barely made it out of the way, and was now recovering from another mini heart attack. Gasping for air, the red gem grunted in pain; loudly voicing his displeasure.

He needed no time to recover. In a blink of an eye, the gem had jumped back on his feet. Every move he made was strong and performed without hesitation -he was like a machine with unlimited power. Frozen in place by that sudden energy burst in front of him, Ai couldn’t take his eyes off him. He watched his upper body heave with strain and unstoppable fury, restless and resilient.

“SOUSUKEEE! YOU GODDAMN COWARD!”

The man howled out his angriness to the empty forest and deaf sky. Still spitting out curses under his breath, he spun around trying to figure out his location and the latest events. The meeting was inevitable; the man noticed Ai’s figure in the corner of his eye, and without a warning, swung around, ready to fight.

What he found was not worth the precaution. When the man realized that his opponent wasn’t in a battle mode, but rather defenseless and besides lying helplessly on the ground, he let down his shoulders. Quickly estimating the possibility for a trap, and finding out that there was none, he relaxed completely.

The small boy sat his hands against the grass, posing as if he had just experienced something life-changing. He was a gem, judging by the tender glow on his chest; the expression on his face a mix of fright and awe. His freeze-up was pretty amusing to witness; besides he was cute, so Rin didn’t bother snapping him out of it immediately. Then he remembered that he had just freaking _yelled_ from the bottom of his lungs, and suddenly the boy’s reaction appeared a lot more understandable.

“Oh. Uh, I’m sorry if I startled you. Are you alright?”

The sun was staring straight into him now. Ai stared back dumbfounded. He was so lively, as if thunder and lightning were inhabiting his body -a striking contrast to his slow life. Now that the man had opened his eyes, he appeared completely different. Ai had never seen anyone have such captivating eyes. Their flaming redness outshone even the gem between his eyebrows. Enchanted with the glow, Ai blinked awkwardly when all of it came closer. The man had bent over him, and politely offered a helping hand; but the smaller gem was nervous to grab it, as one is nervous to approach a fervent flame.

After the visitor had helped up the resident and they had discovered their height difference, the man stumbled backwards awkwardly. A restless hand found its way in the nape of his neck as he spoke up again, eyes avoiding the other’s curious stare.

“Well. So uh, we were having a training fight up there, I guess a moment ago, with my friend -Sousuke, have you seen him anywhere? I’m sure you must have noticed -By the way, it’s Rin”.

A brief silence occurred where he was supposed to state his clan’s name. Ai simply let it slide, assuming that he had his reasons. The more the gem opened his mouth, the more clues he gave to the curious one, and Ai had to rebuild his image over and over.  


It felt weird to have a conversation. The water gem rarely got to, as he lived in the middle of nowhere. It required all his attention, although Rin would have been hard to ignore anyways. He was such a personality that his presence filled up the whole room, leaving no corner cold.  


Ai had left him hanging for a bit too long. Blinking stressed, the little gem went through his words hastily. Social situations were full of pressure and expectations, reminding him of the reasons he had based his life decisions on.

“I’m sorry, but you were the only one I found. My name is Ai”. He bowed slightly.  


“It’s nice to meet you”.

The boy’s gaze wouldn’t meet his. He was so soft spoken and shy, that Rin couldn’t help but wonder how hard the world must have been to him. He had also dropped his clan name, perhaps because Rin had done so too, so it didn’t come off as rude. But him having no sightings of Sousuke felt uncanny. They had _just_ been up there together, he couldn’t have just disappeared into thin air-

Rin raised his head abruptly. Glancing around perturbed, he sought signs of living, as he had just realized how unnaturally quiet the nature surrounding them was.

“Are you all alone in here?” the gem asked the obvious. Ai nodded, and the expression on the man’s face changed; showing now surprise and slight worry. 

“How come?”

The water gem could see the puzzlement of the other; but could not answer. Rin looked at him as if there was something wrong about it, and Ai could tell that he didn’t understand -how could he, for he was from somewhere entirely different? There was only room for guesses of the others homeland. It could be any corner of the Homeworld. 

Rin, on the other hand, had took a hint of the upset expression the other had pulled. He muttered something about going to find Sousuke, quickly lifting the pressure his question had created over the situation. Ai watched his back as he hurriedly left, melancholy evenly finding its way back to his heart. 

The red gem spent the whole evening looking. Ai could hear him shooting around, which made it hard for him to mind his own business. Catching an occasional glimpse of the red streak flashing in between the trees, it was an awkward eye-game. But brief meetings were inescapable, for the isle was so hopelessly small.

Meanwhile, Rin’s searches unfolded inconclusive. Of course he wasn’t there -Sousuke had probably just got up and left, right after the hit and run. The image ticked Rin off beyond measure; after all the hard work he had poured into their fights, and he was going to leave him flat. And just when he had been close to winning! Rin gnashed his teeth. He would’ve wanted to punch a tree down, but had the decency not to. After all, he was just a visitor in someone else’s home.

It was getting dark when the gem returned to the river. He found the little water gem near the downfall; his smile was calm and genuine as if he had been expecting him.

“I… just can’t believe that he left without me”.

Rin’s voice had a bitter and defeated tone. Ai watched the man, who was sitting next to him on the river bank, but failed to find any right words. The silence soon became dictatorial over the scene, as the moon rose from behind the trees, illuminating the opening view.

He looked so vulnerable for a second there. Ai was reminded of a child who had been let down. He was so hurt by the abandonment that it was hard to witness -the water gem felt a twist in his guts, inherently commiserating with him. A wish bubbled up, on top of his heavy thoughts. He hoped he could make things better somehow.  


The silence thickened. Despite being in the rock bottom, Rin caught Ai turning to him, and predicted the following move. Before the water gem could place a reassuring hand on his shoulder, he swiftly got up, dodging his kindness.

“Well, thank you for everything”. 

Rin wasn’t comfortable in his skin. He bowed likewise, showing appreciation towards the lone gem’s efforts. His speech was formal and cold, and it brought Ai to grieve the death of their unborn companionship, passed before it had even begun. Rin’s eyes wouldn’t meet his; he was troubled, and they both knew he would not want to get involved with the island any further. 

“I have to go now. Where’s the nearest warp?”

The question was basic gem etiquette; yet, had all the color run out of Ai’s face.

“WHAT!?” Rin’s voice echoed in the woods. A flock of birds flew off a tree nearby.

“What do you mean there are no functioning warps on this island?” 

Disbelief and frustration raised his volume. Dashing around a destroyed warp pad, Rin studied the damage. A large rock laid on top of it, fallen from the waterfall high above. It had crushed the crystal installment completely under its weight.

Rin’s upset tone made Ai flinch. Being yelled at made him uncomfortable, most when coming from someone he had tried to help. He was well aware of the rule, “every inaccessible place in Homeworld should have a functioning warp pad available”, but it had slipped from his mind recently. The shame of not conforming and being useless in general colored his cheeks, and the water in his eyes had Rin wanting to look away.

“It’s just… How do you even go anywhere?” The man muttered under his breath, seeking a tiniest bit of logic in that absurdness. How ungraceful it was, being caged in that crampy excuse of an island -imprisoned together. The situation was dawning on him in its whole misery, and the lack of explanation made it even more devastating.

Ai knew it had been a rhetorical question, but felt a pressure to answer anyways.

“Well… I really don’t…”

The night came. The darkness got Ai’s heart to beat faster: bringing forward his familiar nervousness around people. Because instead of his usual, glorious loneliness he was now hyper aware of the other wild soul, inhabiting his comfort zone. Whom he had disappointed -the fact made coexisting even harder. Not knowing what to do with himself, he stressed about it, to the point they ended up separating. 

The island was a glass jar; the surrounding world within view yet unreachable. They had been just visitors in each other’s lives -passersby, before it had all been taken from them. Stripped down of their privacy, familiarity, and the right to have things as their own.

He would’ve wanted to let him go.


	2. Moonlight Sonata

The days were tough.

Rin stormed around the island restlessly, day and night. They had been constantly on the move with Sousuke, shifting from one place to another, so he wasn’t used to staying rooted. The isle was just too small for him -wherever he ran, the beach looked the same. Once again standing on the edge of it, the gem felt the frustration pile up, his insatiable agitation and feelings of betrayal feeding off the limits. And it drove him on, from the rocks on the shore to against the tree trunks in the forest, day after day. He couldn’t stop, but his feet kept running, carrying him further, faster, through every corner of that cramped little pocket at the sea. 

Life with Sousuke had been strict and fast-paced. Rin didn’t want to even think about how many missing days he had in his regimen so far. At first, he had tried to channel the negative energy into training, but felt like he couldn’t do anything properly without a partner, and gave it up. It was no use competing against it; his anxiety made normal tasks impossible, invalidating his attempts to maintain his old routines or sanity. 

Running away from his problems had been his solution in recent months, but not this time. Not there; being physically stuck, he was unable to carry it out the way he was used to. The continuous move as a coping mechanism isn’t the most reasonable one, but it was the one he had leaned onto, the only one he knew. The motion of time was there only to poke fun of him; to torture him, and it didn’t halt either. The time flowing through his head in correlation with his rooted feet only increased the sense of deprivation.

All that was left in his mind was pure chaos. Rin could feel the same thoughts mill around as he kept hitting the same barriers. Anxious beyond limits, his soul shook trapped somewhere deep in a place he did not know. The island was a liminal space, and in there he was like an animal trapped in too small of a cage. He was immured.

Rin barely saw the water gem by day. He had put up a mat in one of the leaf cottages for him, but he hadn’t even thought of it once. It looked like Ai had shrunk even smaller, small enough to fit in and disappear into the undergrowth. The red gem didn’t give the idea a second thought: the storm he was fighting against required enough attention.

There was no hint of reason left. Unable to shake the feeling, he battled, and battled with himself only, against the weight on his heart and upon his soul. He thought nothing would lift the dark, thundering mass over his forehead, because no matter how much steam he blew off it wouldn’t relent. His anxiety, anger, and stress exchanged shapes, rotating in a way that felt like an eternal treadmill, and he couldn’t sleep.

The certain nights, the certain hours he was the most stuck. The island was quiet -the night had reached the blue hours, where all the vegetation within view was dyed in deep cobalt color. It would’ve been really beautiful, if Rin could’ve seen it without the dark gray shade before his eyes. 

The island was still so alien to him. Despite having been there for several days, he couldn’t recall any path or stone, because he hadn’t been paying attention. Deep in a trance he walked, passing the forest and the meadow, arriving to a lake shore.

Rin stared at the steady surface blankly. The black mirror reflected a picture of a warrior gem, or what was left of them. Rin pondered that if he now lowered himself into the water, would it start to boil -would the flame inside him make it evaporate? Watching the red stone above his eyes, he despised himself for the person he had been unable to become, and the things he had been unable to change.

A tremor came across the water, breaking the picture on it. Rin raised his eyes; locating the source of the deviation.

A glowing figure stood in the lake a little way off. 

Rin couldn’t tell what exactly was he doing in the soft fuzziness of the darkness. He had to get closer; and slowly, inevitably his curiosity won and got his legs moving. 

Silently the gem waded closer in the tall grass, nearing the spectacle. The boy had yet to notice him, as he was approaching him from behind. Ai had rolled up his pant legs and sleeves, enabling the movement and saving his clothes from getting wet. The ends of his waistband were so long that they sailed in the water nevertheless, rocking back and forth with the tide.

He was picking up water. Gently pulling up long strings, he rolled out the liquid, holding it in the air. Every molecule obeyed his gentle suggestions, breaking into droplets and mending back together with a swing of his palm. The boy created elaborate patterns against the blue night sky, bending it to unnatural behavior. It was intriguing to watch; a foreign yet strangely calming play, and Rin caught himself holding his breath.

The gem moved his legs to find a wider stance, raising his art higher. Moving his lower body seemed laborious as the bottom of the lake was deep, but his arms moved lightly, gently through the air. From time to time he would let his shoulders down, and the water would splash and merge into one around him, before it would be taken up again. Conducting the notes looked ever so effortless when he did it, and the scene remained magical. It came and went in waves, while Rin stood and watched. He felt like his feet had rooted in that particular spot, eyes fixed to the magnificent show in front of him. 

Something in it reminded him that today was, in fact the peak of the lunar month. Rin raised his gaze to the sky, for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, and it was there indeed; the full moon. Accompanied with the velvet blackness and the endless little twinkles, the view came across very soothing. It brought him an important reminder; of that nothing in this world really is permanent. Watching the whole wide universe from the tiny isle down there made his problems seem really small and mundane… And somehow he knew that the calmness it offered fueled the water gem, too. Retrieving his gaze back to the boy, he was once again captured; by the movement he was one with. The moonlight colored the scene with its gorgeous pale blue, while the gem danced with his element; and like a conductor he kept creating his soundless music against the night sky.

Rin felt a bit guilty, gawking at the boy’s personal moment like that. The midnight play was something not allowed to the other’s eyes -and the tension between the watcher and the one being watched is bound to break... Ai must’ve felt the eyes on his back, or seen the man’s reflection on the pond’s surface. Soon, the water he had been holding in shape of a flower dropped, resulting it to shower over him. Despite the darkness surrounding the plain Rin was able to capture his startled expression, as the gem turned to look at him. Glistening beads stuck all over the boy’s hair and eyelashes, furthering his embarrassment.

Rin’s explosion of talk drew a harsh contrast to the tranquil atmosphere. Ai stared with bewildered expression at the man, who messily apologized for interrupting him and creeping around, everything at once. His words mostly escaped Ai, for he had so many… The loss didn’t affect him much; for he would rather sit in silence and wait for the right ones. And that they did.

The event had removed the permanence of the darkest hour. The moon sparkled its ghostly glow over the lake, as they sat on its edge in increasing silence. They had finally acknowledged each other, but for different reasons. Rin had stopped his hurricane, and Ai had showed a new side of himself. The static situation had unwound, and the current one required some thought.

Rin felt twitchy again. The minutes stretched, straining on his skin, and every cell in his body would’ve just wanted to run away. The boy sat on a rock a few feet apart from him. Although there was no need for words, the gem felt the silence burdening the dewy grass between them. His need to break it was urgent.

“So… You’re insomniac too?”

Rin got mad at himself for that stupid, awkward question. He knew nothing about the boy, why would he ever start with this? However, after seeing the use of that high flying magic he felt like talking about something mundane.

Ai turned his head. The baffled look in his dilated pupils convinced Rin that he hadn’t been there, but inside of his own world for a minute -where he seemed to escape most of the time. The gem wondered what he was thinking, of the secrets of the universe and of him.

Ai didn’t seem to be bothered by the indifference of the question. He was comfortable with talking about his routines -it was a safe topic, and that held importance.

“No, not really... Just for tonight.” He gestured at the enormous, milky moon above their heads. The full moon had always generated sleepless nights for him. Those nights were the loneliest, but that one was different -for he had that fierce yet kind-hearted stranger sharing the moment with him.

“Playing with water calms me down. I still hope I could sleep.” The gem chuckled, and listening to it Rin forgot his place as an active conversationalist. He watched as the boy roused half a gallon of water from the lake, and twisting it around his fingers, arranged the liquid to a picture of a butterfly. He seemed to do that almost unawares, as a mean to sort out his thoughts. It was obvious he had a special bond with the element. Rin found that really fascinating, and finally had the guts to voice it.

“That… uh, thing you do with the water. It’s really cool”, was what he ended up with -another embarrassing line he could’ve slapped himself for. Ai let his installation drain between his fingers.

“No, it’s really nothing. You see, I should be able to move rivers or walk up the waterfall like the others- uh, like other water gems do.”

Rin gave a side-eye, but didn’t question his downplaying. A permanent blush had raised to cover Ai’s nose and cheeks. He really didn’t know how to take a compliment, and as the boy bit his lip Rin was dying to know what was going on behind that pretty face. The water gem kept talking mindlessly, shifting away from the topic, probably on purpose.

“I can only move small amounts, like this.” Ai picked up the end of his waistband from the water for an illustration. It was soaked, but with a swift move of his fingers he collected the moisture to a ball and held it in the air.

“It’s handy sometimes. I did that with your clothes too…”

It was a side note, and although Rin had been distracted with the magic for a minute, it managed to catch his attention. Ai reached the puzzled look in his eyes, and hurriedly added; 

“…When I picked you up from the river. Do you remember?”

He didn’t. Rin’s expression adjusted to a thoughtful frown as he pondered the claim, bending his neck the same.  


He only recalled the fight. They had shifted from island to island through the portals Sousuke had made for days. They had went through so many similar places, that this particular one shouldn’t have been nothing out of the line. Sousuke had most likely knocked him out during the duel uphill, because the next thing he had known, had been he being left behind. And meeting Ai…

…downstream.

It didn’t make any sense. He should have gone down the waterfall, if that was the case -wasn’t that dangerous? Had Sousuke really just left him to die? Rin would’ve wanted to deny the conclusion, but the more he studied it, the more reliable it started to sound. He had probably missed the truth because when he had woken, his clothes had been entirely dry. There had also been all that hassle about picking a revenge fight with him… Rin raised his hands to his temples to support his heavy head. If that really was the truth, it could only mean one thing. 

Ai had saved his life.

Rin turned to stare at the smaller gem shocked. Ai jumped at the sudden attention, question marks written all over his face. 

Ai had saved his life. For the Diamonds’ sake, he hadn’t even thanked him! The gem stared at the other in growing disturbance now, mouth hanging open, unable to react.

There is a price to be paid for every increase in consciousness. The thing that circulated in his head the most was the question _How_, how on Homeworld had he missed something so important? Meanwhile his brain would try to make him feel bad about it, for being so weak that this small thing had had to interfere… However, it was just a form of the same old cloud, so Rin persistently didn’t allow it to take over, and instead turned his attention to the good things.

He could trust Ai. The outcome had him look at the gem in completely new light now; for the boy was just so full of potential. Suddenly Rin regretted ignoring him the past days, wasting time on nonsense. Because more than just a benevolent stranger, Ai was someone so altruistic they’ve put their own life in line for someone completely unknown. Determination was clear on his face: he would be ready to do it again, without batting an eye. He had caught Rin off guard twice. Amazed, the gem admired that character from a distance while he sat there, credulous and immaculate as ever.

He felt lighter. Rin couldn’t distinguish the source, for his thoughts were tangled up beyond logic. Maybe he had needed the reminder; that life wasn’t entirely in his control. His life was his, but the responsibility of every choice and decision in his path was really a burden on his back, which the realization released him of. Holding onto his past and his insecurities as the only things he was familiar with was the real reason for his weakness.

Rin fell back first on the grass with a sigh, relaxing his tense muscles at last. He didn’t know what to think about anything anymore. He was stuck on a pathetic excuse of an island. Someone far smaller and weaker than him had saved him from drowning. He had been robbed of his freedom and dignity, who knew what life would come up with for him next? The unpredictability was a shivering, exciting thought; Rin swore to make the most out of it. The giant, glowing moon and the numerous stars above him didn’t come across as mocking as they had an hour ago, because he no longer found the world a threat.

Ai watched his companion with a confused face, but Rin had an overwhelmed smile on his lips, so he was content leaving him be.

Time stopped after that night.

For the days to come, Rin would be calmer. No training fights or receding to angry traits: those were the things he was over with. Now that Rin allowed it, Ai took him under his wing. He toured him around the island, pointing out shortcuts and important locations, and taught him about life in there. They started to spend more and more time together, and learn from each other. Surprisingly enough, Rin found himself enjoying the peace and the quiet the island offered. He integrated to that new lifestyle incredibly fast -he had been in need of a break for a long time. The man also picked up an eternity project of fixing the warp pad, although it was more about killing time and less about believing it could actually be repaired. 

Most importantly, Ai taught Rin to sleep. 

It was all about practicing, though. Most of the nights Rin would just lay on his back, staring at the leaves on his cottage’s ceiling. He was still restless and unaccustomed to it, and now when he finally had time to think, he preferred that.

Thoughts slipping from one to the other, he went through the whole kaleidoscope of what was and what needed to be. Reflecting his past mistakes to his recent choices, he made some important observations. He had so many things to consider he felt like his brain was going to burst -sleeping seemed to be a ridiculous waste of time.

The plan was to wait for Sousuke to come back and get him out through his portal -and Rin just could not wait. Although the flow of time didn’t tick him off like it used to, he caught himself hoping that it would speed up even a little bit. He had things in need of clarifying.

When the morning sun finally peeped through the foliage, he sprang up and headed to the lake. There he would meet Ai. The boy had the habit of asking how he had slept for the first thing in the morning. And although Rin was a terrible liar, he would still say “well” for him, and Ai would laugh because he could tell... Accustomed to coexisting with another living soul, the conversations were no longer a nuisance, but a matter of joy. New days weren’t that much of a burden to them anymore. More importantly, they were over the anxiety of repeating them, and let the time lead them in new direction every dawn. 

Rin’s life had been a race against time and his own will, as fast as the race of his old heart. Like a competitive strategy; as if his worth and value as a being was tied to how good he was at certain things. But now, all of that had come to an end -for Ai, he was alright the way he was. For him he didn’t have to pretend. Ai didn’t expect him to do anything, to be anything, and for Rin that simple thing was new and worth the world.

Whenever Rin was in his company, time seemed to slow down. It kept him wondering, how could so little be so enough; days of just sitting there next to him, listening to his peaceful flow of talk. As if he was tenderly holding all the peace in the world on his lap, robbed from the tingling in his ears.

Delicately as the sun set, he watched the water gem. Ai was like a creature of his own... Married to the stars. Everything seemed so calm when he did it. Rin found such an incompetence in himself in his company. While he struggled with remembering to breathe, Ai had that peace of being, as if he had already seen all the past lives. He lead a life so composed, free from the endless, tragic rush to achieve, that Rin couldn’t help but wonder just how had he attained that? And the island -how had he ended up inhabiting that corner of the Homeworld alone? The mystery left him curious. And he realized, that he knew absolutely nothing about Ai.

Those nights he wanted to know more.


	3. Fusion

That morning approached like any of the others; there was no way Rin and Ai could’ve predicted its vast significance in the following chain of events.

Several days had passed the little island, which stood stranded in the ocean. As if an anchor was keeping everything in place tightly, life went on unstrained, and the residents went on with the flow. There was nothing that hinted for them to prepare, so they didn’t, but settled into the comfortable ordinariness.

Ai was heading to the shore. Water rushed happily along the route; bursting and dashing against the walls, little dribbles attracted to the outstretched hand. The gem did that for fun while balancing on the edge of the river, his footsteps printed on the wet grass after him. He was completely unaware of the way time behaved, in a constant demand to bring back the past. Maybe the peacefulness, the seemingly everlasting safety was calculated in quantity, and the number had already reached its absolute maximum. Maybe; for they just couldn’t have it anymore.

First, came the warning; the air starting to vibrate on the other side of the channel. It caught Ai’s attention, because he had never witnessed that kind of behavior in nature before. The gem stopped to examine it; not yet sensing the immediate danger.

It happened fast. The oval-shaped patch above the grass increased its drastic glitching rapidly; as if someone was clawing their way through the matter. The water gem couldn’t take his eyes off the whirl. All the things on his to-do -list vanished as he stood naively, eyes wide. A white light sliced through the fabric, as if a knife had been used. It was the one of warp travelling; a gem product. 

The realization made the small gem stumble backwards. Being able to create warps through dimensions meant a very strong or special gem. It meant that the series of intrusions wasn’t over -someone was coming through.  


Not sure if safety measures were necessary, the boy stayed put, curiosity coating him. He hadn’t had that many visitors in so little time since ever, and could not figure out what it meant. Soon, he would collect it.

A character emerged from the light. A tall, broad shouldered man, in an unmistakable fighter’s uniform: two sashes crossed over his chest. Black and dark blue were the prominent colors, from his short hair to his clothes. A dark, triangular gem gleamed in between his collarbones; the placement flawlessly similar to Ai’s.  


There was the kind of rage, the unstoppable fury in his aura, that it had every blade of grass bending out of his way. The battered body heaved tight underneath the weather-beaten skin. Ai could detect strong frustration emitting from him, the same that Rin had had on the first days. He wouldn’t stop until he had put his little island in pieces, he understood; feeling the agitation sweep him off his feet. He looked so strong, so ready in an undesirable way Ai caught himself hoping that he wouldn’t have come to his home at all.

Rin was strolling nearby. Sweet oblivion sharply changed to an awareness of the intruder, as his fighter’s senses caught a familiar clink of a gem weapon. The sound caught him off guard as it sliced the air; he hadn’t heard it for ages. The passage of time may had taken its toll, but his reflexes hadn’t rusted -he knew exactly what it meant. The person he had waited for to execute his plan for him had finally emerged. How could he forget? It was just that the plan had changed drastically along the way. He was late.

Rin fled to the spot he navigated the sound coming from. By the river, he found Ai, collapsed near the shore. Sitting on his knees, his face was magnetized towards the revelation. 

Completely ignoring his old friend, Rin rushed to the smaller gem’s side. His first thought was that Sousuke had hit Ai, and the image immediately sent a rush of blood ring in his ears. He had seen a lot of violence in his lifetime, but that action just came across so _objectionable_: Ai was so fragile and harmless, there wouldn’t have been any reason to. So although he became convinced that no harm had been done by a glance, the man on the other side of the river still posed as an acute threat to him.

The tension between the two parties was like a tightrope over the water, waiting for the first one to drop the weapon. The rapids seethed and foamed in the place of peaceful exchange; a conversation, which could’ve prevented the fight. On the other side; Rin and Ai and their cozy bubble of a living that they had built fondly; and on the other Sousuke, whose fury had only grown hungrier those same days. Hands full of weapons and heart full of wrath, and a mere sight of him was enough to crush any hope that it could be talked over with. There was nothing to be done; he would tear down every golden memory of theirs the moment he decided to step over the river.

He had travelled from afar. Soon after the fatal day Sousuke had been unable to find Rin in their agreed meeting spot -the one they had set up for if they were to end up apart, like this. And that, if any, ticked him off beyond measure. Having difficulties with remembering where their last meeting had taken place, Sousuke ended up roaming through every isle and abandoned village they had used to practice. There was a lot, and the more he explored without catching a glimpse of him, the more his frustration ate him alive. It was as if Rin had been swallowed by land, his disappearance so thorough that it seemed plausible that he was staying hidden from him on purpose. And that, my dear, he could not stand. 

Being alone was one thing, but being ignored was another; notably worse. And now, when the expanded time had finally snapped to the position where they stood face to face, he wasn’t proved wrong. Sousuke had finally reached the runaway, only to witness his audacity to ignore him; only stooping down to some pitiful water gem. For Sousuke, it was the last straw: it made him lose the last hint of respect he had had towards him. Receiving simply no recognition after all the effort he had poured into Rin, being excluded for someone that pathetic? That degradation he wouldn’t accept. Watching the pair only fueled his will to destroy -and the next scene culminated the events.

Ai moved slightly, laboriously, towards Rin; turning his fear blinded eyes away from the dreading sight. His breath seemed to have gotten stuck in his throat, because his inhale broke in shards. Raising his chin, he directed his soft blueness on the man, and left a question in the air.

“Rin… Who is he?”

It was barely audible, but it changed the tide for them. Sousuke’s roar of a war declaration cut off Rin’s answer, and demanded every last strand of attention in the room. He shot off to the red gem with the might of a thousand thunderstorms, an attack impossible to arrest. Rin knew it was designed for him, so in a split second he pushed Ai out of the way and took it, heels grooving deep lines into the soil. 

Because he didn’t know the reason behind the man’s sudden, overflowing hate, Rin decided to play it safe and just keep dodging him as long as possible. The most important thing was to keep him off Ai, for he wouldn’t be able to protect himself, and Rin didn’t want to be in a position where anything bad was to happen to him. He knew that if his own emotions were provoked to the verge of rage, it would get unnecessary ugly a bit too soon. 

Sousuke got through the first punch. Struggling to keep the furious man in an arm-length distance, Rin told Ai to run. He had a hunch that the fight was prone to get even more intense soon; his small friend shouldn’t get caught on that. 

Ai had been pinned in place by a jolt of fright, but the second his ears caught his voice, he was up again. The state of affairs was tearing his heart apart, and he would’ve wanted to stay by Rin’s side; but respected his wish to stay out of the way. 

The little gem ran to the opposite direction, away from the booming of the fight. The noise had grown a bit too familiar for him than what he would’ve liked. Hands over his ears, the water gem stumbled over the tangle of leaves, fought his limbs free, and flew; disappearing into the thicket. His heart was pounding so fast against his rib cage that it was almost painful, but he didn’t stop, but kept going until he reached the sanctuary of the forest. 

A large rock near the meadow offered him a safe haven he needed. The exhausted gem plopped down to the shade, collecting his scattered breath. Nothing in that incident made sense. He had picked up a vague definition of the men’s relation from Rin’s stories, but was uncertain of his position in it. And whatever it was that was nagging the connection between the two soldiers, should just stop -being made to listen to the destruction of his home was torture. A lamenting sound escaped his throat, and the boy had to direct his concentration into suffocating it.

By the rule, Ai’s life was very simple. But by the truth, it hadn’t been that way for a while. It was simple enough to live in peace, which was the mere reason for his anguish. He didn’t understand the ones who navigated their lives solely on fighting. It was so alien to him, promoting violence over understanding. Still, he was yet again in an unknown place, and it was getting harder by the thought. Their society that had people rely on their fists was a grief. And he was unfitting to it -the cold hard world, with all his sentimentality, sensitivity, and softness. 

This time though, one factor was different. Ai trusted Rin deeply. In the beginning, he had been uncertain if they would ever find each other -but in the last few weeks, he had been privileged to see a different gem emerge. Rin was a complex man, underneath it kind and considerate, a person he would never want to forget. It was so precious that not in a million years would he want it to be taken from him. 

Ai was happy to take care of him. He was a part of his island, like the meadows and ponds. Somehow he felt like he was responsible for him now -but when the situation demanded, he would rely on him. There was a designed role for every stone, and the water gem settled for his current one. It was part of the expectations for them; who should participate in the wreckage of the world and who mustn’t. Ai was happy in his heart for Rin’s efforts to protect him. Still, he hoped he could do something to help. Holding his shuddering body tighter, the gem kept pondering how could he pay Rin back; unaware of the effect he had already had on him.

The boy’s moment of thought was interrupted by a loud bang. Crashing through the foliage, a man’s body plunged down like a rock from the heights. Ai jumped at the sudden noise, uttering a yelp when a sound of hitting ground followed. He had firmly believed to have taken enough distance from the dispute, but the occurrence proved otherwise. It held no boundaries at all.

Mortified to realize it had been one of the fighters, the blue gem peered over his hiding place, praying that it hadn’t been Rin. He took back the action immediately, as the turnout of the events unfolded. 

Sousuke lied in the middle of the meadow, deep craters formed around his outlines. Wiping blood off the crook of his mouth, he stayed still. Clearly needing a moment to think, the man didn’t attempt to get up from his open grave just yet.

Sousuke was pissed. Things weren’t going to the direction he wanted –he hadn’t been prepared for Rin to become so unbelievably strong in such a short window of time. He had tossed him to the other end of the island with a single punch, which both irritated and amazed Sousuke greatly. He had most likely trained hard during his absence, but the change was still major.

Rin’s revolt against him was like a ton of sea salt straight into his open wounds. Months of persuading him to leave with him; months of training with him; all that time used, and Rin was ready to let him down. All his efforts put into shaping that arbitrary red gem into a fighter he didn’t even know he could become -his life’s work! Wasted away. 

Sousuke gnashed his teeth in unconcealed frustration. To control the uncontrollable, a nature’s force had been proved to backfire, but he wouldn’t let go of it without a fight. He had made Rin! And the way he paid him back -it was so ungrateful it became outrageous. 

As if there was something left in Rin’s life without him -as if he was his own person. The gem’s disregard gnawed on Sousuke’s pride; a golden object on a glass stand, which Rin profaned. He had hidden there, avoiding him while playing home with some pitiful replacement, not giving a damn thought for his work. It managed to ignite even crazier blaze in Sousuke, when coming to the fact that he hadn’t even mentioned his name to that boy. The injustice made his hands curl into fists, rattling his bones -he was ready. He needed to be taught a lesson.

Unexpectedly, something light got caught in the corner of his eye. Although the person ducked down into hiding from him, Sousuke had already captured his picture with his swift reflexes. It was the small water gem who he had seen with Rin earlier. The corners of the man’s mouth curled upwards, a smirk spreading over his lips.

Meanwhile Rin made his way into the forest. The fight was going awfully well on his part; he had no idea what had triggered the change in their power dynamic, but he felt significantly stronger. He had executed a single punch just to get him off his neck, but had managed to throw Sousuke all the way to the trees. Adrenaline rushing in his veins, Rin glanced at his hands in astonishment; the sudden power thrilling him. He was usually the one to get hit, so the change was refreshing and welcomed. The fact that he was lacking weeks of proper training made the current setting even weirder.

As the red gem neared the estimated landing place, the pleasant observations changed to more profound matters. What he had adapted as a result of countless night’s brain work: he couldn’t trust Sousuke. The events around their leave from his home clan had been… Shady, mildly described; but he had been so afraid of being alone back then that he had unconsciously denied all the evidence, and accepted this stranger on his side. They were friends, but while Rin had poured his heart out of his problems to the other man, he couldn’t name a single thing Sousuke had ever told him about himself. He didn’t know anything about him.

The finding left Rin choked. He wondered why hadn’t the truth bothered him earlier, despite it being plain in sight? Yet, he supposed that it had changed for him only after Ai had taught him the gift of intimacy. That it wasn’t okay to run around bottling your boiling feelings -it didn’t have to be that way. Now, he would be able to voice his concerns. He just had to find Sousuke first.

Arriving to the edge of the forest, Rin paused. A familiar thing called his attention; it was the collapsed shortcut Ai had built to himself to avoid the thicket. Thinking of the blue gem, a wave of worry occupied his mind. He wondered where he had hidden, and felt sorry for he had led a stranger to his island. “Ai must be feeling very uncomfortable”, Rin deduced before continuing his searches.

Ai’s heart drummed in his ears in almost deafening volume. He was crouched down behind the stone, hands over his mouth as he was afraid to let out a single breath. Had the man seen him? He couldn’t be sure, and the uncertainty was worse, forcing him to close his fluttering eyelashes. Desperate for safety, the water gem hoped that the fighter would just leave him be. He had no reason to approach him, but the uneasiness swell in his stomach nevertheless. His overtaking anxiety disallowed him to register the footsteps until they were right by.

“Hello there”.

Chills spurted all the way up Ai’s spine as a reaction to the voice. The boy ran his gaze up carefully, frozen in place. It felt like the blood in his veins stopped their rush every time the man spoke. 

“I believe that we weren’t properly introduced to each other yet. My name is Sousuke”.

The man had got up and walked over to him, wiping off the pieces of sand from his clothes. His wide frame climbed high above the boy’s crown as he peered down at the gem. There was no hint of emotion detectable on his stone face. Sousuke stood in front of the sun, and like a shadow seemed to absorb all the light from their surroundings.

Still, his presence had a drastic change compared to the earlier. Now, the gem appeared calm and collected -his anger gone or flawlessly masked, when he held out his hand for the boy to grab. Ai stared at it unbelievingly, but by the same token he was convinced that something bad would happen if he did elude the invitation now. He had no way out.

Hesitantly, he reached out. Sousuke took his hand, and lifted him up with zero effort; as if he weighed less than air. Playing around a bit, the black gem quickly switched their hands, so that his left was fixed with Ai’s right. Ai found it a bit weird, but was too nervous to question it out loud. The uppermost feeling was numb; as if his fear and anxiety had outdone each other, leaving him empty.

“What’s your name, little one?”

Sousuke must’ve noticed the extended silence from the other party. Every move he pulled was straightforward; bending his shoulders closer to the boy’s level, waiting for his answer. Ai pulled back instinctively, hiding his stressed blush behind his free palm. Somehow, he managed to croak out “_Ai_”, and to that, the man straightened his back and smiled.  


“Good”, he replied with his low voice, as if the smaller gem was a dog that he was training.

The physical contact was off-putting. Ai kept staring at the place where his fingers were held, compressed with the same power than his lungs for it was getting hard to breath. Distressed, he prayed that Sousuke would let him go, his pale fingertips weakening in his rough clasp. The unawareness of his intentions was the scariest thing, and it had him wanting to turn away, escape somewhere with his unsteady mind.

To Sousuke, the encounter was nothing but a game. It was easy to keep the boy on his toes, because he had already got him in his leash. The pretty blue eyes were dashing, looking for a way out, and their reaction amused him. But the restless gaze wasn’t exactly where he wanted it to be; however, it was easy to fix.

Swiftly, Sousuke jerked their hands out of the picture; and Ai, whose heart jumped as his body was again forcibly moved, fixed his gaze instinctively. Staring straight into the man, the gem’s eyes were wide. Chest to chest with him, right hand fastened upward, he couldn’t help but blush with humiliation.

Chuckling at the boy’s dumbstruck face, and the look in his teary eyes which indivisible attention he had earned, Sousuke moved confidently. Taking steps backwards, he dragged the unlucky water gem with him. 

Leading the pair back to the meadow, the man talked this and that, keeping the other busy with the conversation. Ai stumbled after, trying to focus politely. He had to admit having thought that if he behaved well, he would be freed from the pressure. But Sousuke never once released his grip of him, and Ai had to bury his hopes to become something bullies had no interest in. 

Bright shine hit the boy’s eyes as the forest changed to an open area. He struggled with restoring his attention, but the man’s mindless flow of speech never ended and he dropped out for good. Sousuke took a note of the boy’s paling, and shifted from topics to questions; efficiently furthering his puzzlement. Ai was unable to answer to a single one of the swarm. The gem raised his chin desperately, in agony over not knowing why he was doing that to him. What did the man want from him? 

Then suddenly Sousuke’s right hand was on his back; firmly placed on the curve, and Ai managed to quack “what are you doing?” with a crumbling voice. Sousuke simply ignored his protests, his hand feeling almost burning through his clothes, and panic started to swell in the gem’s throat. He tried to wriggle free, but his efforts only made the man tighten his grip, pulling them closer together. 

They had reached the stage already, but Sousuke showed no signs of slowing down. He made them do a few twirls, talking constantly in order to prevent the other gem from comprehending the movement. It worked; Ai had his hands full with trying to maintain his balance while fighting through the thick layer of concern. By the time Sousuke got the pattern finished, his feet were barely touching the ground anymore.

The water gem felt nauseous. The spinning may had stopped, but the whirling continued behind his eyelids. The black gem’s whispering voice filling his head only made the matters worse.

Ai tried to rip himself off one last time, but failed to notice where it all had been heading to. The black gem felt like a winner already; bending the other’s back in celebration. The boy gasped, struggling to keep his feet against the soil. Bending his knees, a distraught sob forced its way past his lips just for the discomfort of it. 

“Good boy”.

Sousuke hovered over him, standing at ease. The entertainment of teasing the smaller gem was clear on his face, while an upset expression crossed Ai’s. It reddened his ears as he recognized the words whispered to him, humiliated to his core. He locked his stance; putting up a resistance. He would not follow his lead any further. 

While Ai refused to give in a single millimeter anymore, his attempt only made the man smirk. He kept leaning closer nevertheless, clutching him like a doll. The water gem could feel his hot breath brush his ear, and turned away; but closing his eyes didn’t wash away the oppressor. It remained there dominant and immovable. As if he was about to devour him.

In Sousuke’s field of vision, Rin entered the meadow. 

Rin recognized the scene immediately, but didn’t want to believe his eyes. At the other end of the meadow, stood his opponent; surprisingly enough, with his companion. Sousuke held Ai in an obvious dancing position: chest to chest, left hand pulling his right, right hand supporting him from back. A hunter with their catch, a doe whose throat they were about to slice open, let her run dry.

A fit of anger raised its head inside of Rin; 

_They were going to fuse._

Holding him tightly like a champion holds his prize, the black gem raised his eyes; and with tremendous audacity, locked them with Rin’s. He had been waiting for the red’s arrival. As if to say, “_enjoy the show_”, he held onto their stationary waltz pose. For a moment, he was in an absolute control over the situation; a dictator of what was going to happen next. 

Rin knew he had to prevent the following. Fusion at this point was a dirty trick -not approved in the least if it had been an official match. But more than the rules, Rin was concerned about Ai. He hadn’t most likely given his consent, which was endangering them both; the fusion would not come out stable, and it would end up in a meltdown. Yet, Sousuke seemed desperate enough to overlook the risks, so Rin could only guess his strategy at that point. The only thing he knew for sure was that if they had already performed the fusion dance, he would stand no chance. Rin wouldn’t have time to reach them, and prevent the catastrophe. But despite the nonexistent possibility to success, nothing in the Homeworld would stop him from trying-

-and Sousuke knew that. With a growing grin, he watched the other man let out a yell; a declaration of his will, a desperate sound insufficient to provoke any change. The distance had the message get lost in the white noise, wind in the leaves and hay. And although Rin ran the fastest than he had ever, Sousuke could and would take all from him, the moment he decided to pull up.

Unaware of all that; Ai, whose legs were shaking now; who was too weak to bear his uncomfortable pose anymore, had to relax his stiff neck. Inhaling painfully, he let his head fall back. It made his hair fall out of place, and his mouth to open slightly. The gem readjusted his hazy gaze, and saw him; Rin knew he did, because he had learned how his pupils expanded when they registered his character. He saw him, and it seemed to move him in some way, because he instantly, intuitively, formed a silent word with his lips that read “_Rin_” -

-before he was violently pulled up, and into an embrace. Breaking his shell, his tense, reluctant form was harshly melted into Sousuke’s. It completed the transition, and in place of where their chests should’ve collided, was the fusion light; blazing through the cracks in their existences. 

A wild, grievous wail of an animal escaped Rin’s throat -he hardly recognized it himself. They merged into one on the spot right before his eyes; a mere yard before he would’ve reached them. Hand covering his eyes, the red gem tried to see the formation through the dazzling flash, tried to reach out to him; but was unable to tell the two of them apart anymore.

That made Rin curse under his breath, for he had let Ai slip from his fingers -let him get lost in that cell-breaking melting pot. Now, he was being pushed back by the energy wave the fusing emitted. Blinding light and heat burst in every direction; the formation of light writhed, expanded, and rose towards the sky in the born of their creation. With terror, Rin watched the pillar grow. It seemed like it wasn’t planning to stop anytime soon, but achieved even greater heights. Rin lowered his weapon; he knew there was nothing he could do anymore.

The hot air cooled as they molded together; like clay, lost in each other beyond retrieve. 

The transformation was almost completed. Still unsure of its shape, the creation kept blurring its already defined outlines. At last, it landed in a decision of six individual limbs: two legs and four claws. Absorbing the remaining light, its own mass took it by surprise. Swaying back and forth, it eventually tilted onto the lower pair of arms in support of its contorted body. They were wearing half of the water gem’s clothes; half the soldier’s, ripped and stretched inconveniently over the slim yet muscular body.  


The creature let out a grunt. To become demanded breaking apart the familiar forms and painfully grow into a new shell: soft, childlike features united with the harsh, masculine ones. The reconstruction shuddered, straining to keep it together. Short, silver hair spurted out of their scalp, turning black and trimmed towards the neck. Facial features developed lastly, and immediately they turned their heavy head to observe the brand-new world.

Rin felt disheartened as they revealed their new face. He had seen many fusions before, but theirs was without fail the most grotesque. 

They had two pairs of eyes. The upper ones had black, dilated pupils, while the lower pair was glassy under long eyelashes. Two stones found their place on their chest. It was a sign that they were ready; white and black side by side, Ai’s and Sousuke’s respective gems, settled neatly in between their collar bones. Parting their lips, the creature blew out air as if they had just learned to breathe.

All of that left Rin very upset. Watching the obscure thing, he felt suddenly very alone in the world. Every heaving rise of their chest was a manifestation of the combination, leaving the two of them trapped in that enormous, unwieldy mass of a body. Mouth full of sharp fangs, their exhalations were a black cloth, that stuffed Rin’s lungs when he breathed in. He had to make them unfuse.

The problem was, he couldn’t predict their moves. Even following their eyes proved impossible, as they seemed to be out of control. The lower row on the cheeks was staring into the soft nothingness, while the upper ones were wildly scanning their surroundings, yet falling blind. They sniffled around for him, constructing their strategy. Feet rooted in place, Rin hoped that they wouldn’t find him. He couldn’t fight them; the monster was big enough to smash him like an ant.

Then, a lot happened in a matter of minutes.

The creature spotted Rin. In a matter of seconds all four eyes were focused on his image -even the hazy row snapped out of their sloppy state. The prey awakened the fighter inside them, and they pushed out a battle roar, a terrible noise that had the trees tremble and the wildlife escape. Raising one of their claws, they pressed it to a fist; ready to crush him with little effort. 

Rin’s instincts alerted, telling him to flee -but the situation that had just taken a turn for the worse didn’t keep its course. The monster’s fist stopped; remaining in the air like levitating. A confused expression crossed their face; as if they were being controlled by an outside power, an invisible one which inhibited them from fulfilling their desire. 

Rin couldn’t detect the reason. But he could distinguish the change of the watchdog -the expression passed, replaced with emptiness, and the creature shut down completely.

The silence, the utter hollowness of their made-up soul only lasted for a blink of an eye. It was impossible to guess what it was becoming. Then, the unexpected; the change of emotions began, and their face contorted with grief, the overflow visible but with dry tears. Their mouth opened in silence, gaping and screaming but no sound came out, as their misery wasn’t theirs but halted within the other. Rin felt like watching a sad play through a glass, muted or already happened so that their feelings were only ghosts anymore. They looked sad, inconsolable; and for a moment, their appearance lost its ugliness. The red gem could’ve swore that in that he saw the bare truth, the long-hidden secret shining through. But it was the highest point; a second after, they broke and the meltdown came. 

It wasn’t pretty to watch. Almost as soon as they had grown, they fell into pieces; the height, the mass diminishing under the unstoppable heat. The creature’s claws diffused into nothing; their multiple eyes watching in terror as their feet disappeared into a puddle. They burst into the final wail before their chest cracked and released the fusion light, the same dazzle that it had devoured a moment earlier. It was their finish.

Graciously decreased to pure light again, the creature’s high-flying life came to an end. Rin had barely met the person they were together, but it was enough; more than their amalgamation, he cared for the people who formed it. It was relieving to see their release.

The elements disappeared as the unfusing was completed. The gush formed into two balls of light; they separated, falling from high up. The blobs took form in the middle of their fly, back to their original shape a moment before they hit the ground. Two bodies landed on the surface of earth hard, slammed to the opposite directions. On the left side, dragged all the way near the forest laid Sousuke; unconscious or just plain exhausted, body emitting light smoke. And on Rin’s right; Ai, swept far in the grass, glowing feebly in the middle of the meadow. 

Rin rushed over to the boy, and sat by his side long into the afternoon as he wailed. The red gem would’ve wanted to ease his pain, but had no way. Ai’s fragile form was still trembling, his mind shaking, and his heart… So, they inhabited his white nightmare together for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I made Sousuke a villain, I love him lol


	4. Silence

Ai cried for most of the evening.

Rin had no resources to deal with the pain that the water gem was experiencing. He couldn’t do anything except spread his hands with the matter -he was so used to seeing Ai calm and flexible, collected and unbreakable, that his pain was incomprehensible to him.  


Although he had eventually succeeded in persuading him to get up and leave the meadow, the blue gem’s tears hadn’t petered out. Although he had walked him to the shelter, laid him down and closed the curtains, he could still hear his sobs through the walls and inside his head. Only being able to imagine how bad and used he must’ve been feeling, the sound echoed and doubled every time he closed his eyes, sending him into a sea of guilt and inadequacy. As a result, his behavior regressed back to spurting around the island for a night -he didn’t know any other way to deal with his emotions, and Ai’s.

Besides, he had important business to handle. Immediately after he had put Ai to sleep, and decided that he was not going to do the same, Rin shot back to the meadow to find Sousuke.

He found him sitting on the edge of the river, moved from across the hay. It surprised him, the fact that the man hadn’t left. Instead, the black gem stared into nothing there, the loss redefining his defeated form.  


The peculiar thing in it was that Sousuke didn’t react to him, either. Not when he arrived; nor when he scolded him, yelled at him, punched him. Rin was angry at his friend, for his friend, and sought to restore the balance by some mean. But Sousuke didn’t budge; didn’t blink an eye. His immobility made Rin doubt if he even gave a damn about what he had done. It infuriated him; but the black gem’s lifelessness remained a mystery. And in the end, unable to batter any kind of reaction out of him, Rin had to let it go.

It was like a dark aisle, between the wrongdoer and the victim. Heartstrings pulled to opposite directions, Rin bounced between his once-a-friend and the new acquaintance, never really finding the black and white his heart craved for. He couldn’t bring himself to hate Sousuke fully, although he wanted to; not when he was so weak. Besides, they had so much history. In those small moments back in those past months he had felt like he had seen himself in him -it was a curious piece of memory.  


Yet, on the other hand, there was Ai; the one who had never done anything wrong in his life. In him, Rin saw the person he would want to become -at least that’s how he identified the feeling. Either way, it was too precious to let it get consumed by anyone. There was no comparing those feelings, no battle for meaningfulness.

His conflicts were left open, and wounds raw he struggled through it; and the next one, and the next one.

Eventually, things settled like a river finding its old route. Their shared life on the island went back to normal; except that it had changed irretrievably, so just as normal as it could get. They couldn’t wipe away what had happened, so the surface remained foggy and stained. Each of the residents spent time apart, not really knowing how to go on, and none of them found peace.

Rin struggled most with settling to his previous position. The gem felt like he should change things from what they were -he would’ve wanted to be there for Ai, but didn’t know how to step out of it. Their relationship had been built on top of stones that were their assigned roles -the comforter and the difficult one, and Rin was dying to have his changed. But stopping the already rotating wheel was hard, and the man was afraid of breaking the glass wall, constantly worried about stepping over a line of sorts.  


Nevertheless, just seeing the boy was enough to plunge his heart to his feet. Ai seemed to be living totally normally and fine again; a few days after the incident, but something told Rin that it was just the surface. There was no way that anyone could get over something so traumatic in so little time.

Most of his time, the red gem spent reflecting what he could’ve done differently. Rin didn’t know what to tell Ai besides “I’m sorry”, so that’s what he repeated every time they met. Struggling to shed the old skin that held him back, the regret filling his body, the strove for justice. Yet Ai didn’t need that; Rin was informed by his surprised looks and yearning eyes every time he brushed him off. He didn’t want his apologies, but the red gem wanted to have them said. The tug of war of that, the frustrating trend maintained by their evasion hid in their personal cages. It drove them apart, and the interactions were colored by misunderstandings.

And Sousuke never left.

He had been silent and exhausted after the fight, and that state seemed to stuck. Mute, he sat by the river, staring into the dark waters. Rin didn’t bother to check on him anymore; he was still too angry, and proud; thinking that he should make the first move. 

But it wasn’t reasonable. Why didn’t the man just use his powers and leave? The broken crystal didn’t affect Sousuke, because unlike the other residents, he had the ability to create warps out of nothing. The evident clash in that bugged Rin. There was no reason for the black gem to stay, yet he remained there as if someone had forgotten to pick him up; collecting autumn leaves on his shoulders. Sousuke acted like he had already rooted on that spot, feet buried deep into the soil. Like a fallen tree trunk, he could be found there every time of the day, in a same position; was it day or night, sun or rain. He stayed put, and Ai avoided the place.

The third person became an unexpected factor in the two’s healing. Braking it, snatching bites here and there where they were okay, his presence impaired Rin and Ai’s attempts to live peacefully. It grew into an elephant of the room over time, and the gems would talk about everything and anything but him.

It had been a few days since the incident, when Ai came up to Rin with an extraordinary plea.

“What!?” 

Rin exploded, having heard the question perfectly clear. 

They were sitting in the shade behind their sleeping places, sheltered from the midday sun. The island was drowsy in the heat of the day’s peak; not a single animal was out in the exhausting burn of it, and the gems were resting as well. 

Ai swallowed. He knew Rin would have a hard time trying to understand his decision, but as much as he would’ve wanted to spare him, he wanted to let him know. How had crossing the line became so enormous, he didn’t know; but was dying to feel connected to the man again. They hadn’t spoken of anything that wasn’t superficial for days. Furthermore, he felt like he needed Rin’s permission to do it, and repeated his question lawfully.

“I want to talk to Sousuke”.

With that, the seal was broken. Rin stared back at him, incredulous and speechless, and Ai struggled to keep his ground. The man’s condition had been a taboo, but the water gem was tired of pretending he wasn’t there. He was tired of pretending it was fine.

“But… Why?”

Of course Rin would ask the specific question he had been afraid of. Ai dropped his gaze back to his hands, fingers winding the ends of his ribbon. His fidgeting was the only thing that gave clue on his nervousness, and Rin waited patiently for the truth. The red gem had suspected that he had something to say from the longing gazes he had thrown to him all morning; but it wasn’t what he had been expecting. 

Ai escaped his eyes. It took him a minute to gather his words and courage, to expose the secret that had grown too big for him to manage. 

“When we were fused, I saw things”.

Ai struggled with his words. Was it hard to pull the images from his memories, from where they had been carefully tucked? His wounds were still fresh, tears on the outlines of his beautiful life uncured, and Rin found them hard to look at. Would the talking help him, he didn’t know yet -but for him, listening became even harder.

Ai talked so kindly about Sousuke. How, how was he able to forgive the man so thoroughly, and with what power? His empathy went beyond Rin, his stubbornness and perspective. Sure, the water gem had done everything out of his heart for his sake, too; but he hadn’t hurt him, not in that way. It was hard for him to understand, just as Ai had anticipated; but the boy wasn’t finished yet.

Apparently, he had seen through some parts of Sousuke while being fused with him. Things that were usually tightly locked away: all of which was painted over with that red anger and black silence. The man might’ve been a rock honed tough in water, the layers of him not supposed to break. It was what Sousuke hadn’t considered; because in fusion, you need to be willing to share everything you own. Everything you stand for will be molded into one -even the things you would’ve wanted to keep for yourself. 

Ai had been there. And although the black gem had attempted to go on with his mission, the boy’s presence had lured out the pain like a lighted sign. The reluctant movement had been maintained by the fusion; the meltdown happened over their struggle with the back-and-forth flow.

Ai read him so precisely, pointing out his observations that Rin was impressed by how easily he made it. And he was so non-judging, that it crept on him that he understood him. It made Ai so soft with the topic; the familiarity his sympathetic soul found within. 

The same kind of secrets attracts each other like your heart is a magnet. Their secret grieves had found the same note, leaving them vulnerable. Both lonely and desperate in their core, the things common had become the main traits for their fusion. The person they were together was nothing but those things; a wounded animal, tired to fight for the sake of staying alive… Forcing to choose flight, but not by their own will. Being that person was a cold experience, colder than Ai had ever had it.

“Rin, I think… It might be what it’s like inside his head all the time. He’s trapped, but he’s calm, because he’s got so used to it. Isn’t that a sad thought?”

The listener had forgot their place, but nodded when asked for confirmation. Rin carefully observed the boy as he talked; the melancholic eyes, the sad tone in his voice. Ai wouldn’t look at him; wouldn’t lift his gaze from down his knees. Only that seemed to place a hundred stones on Rin’s heart. His avoidance proved his burden, and the man would’ve gone far to lift it. How he now carried the worries of that stubborn stone of a man, too -wasn’t it unfair? If nothing else, it was ironical; how much more through Sousuke he had seen in a blink of an eye, than Rin in almost a year.

And now, Ai sought to cure him. Did that little body know any limits? It looked frustrating, watching that kind soul absorb problems of everyone around, treat them like his own. The red gem regretted to have let Ai help him, while he had been the one who would’ve needed it more. Now, he had to try and prevent the boy from doing the same mistake again.

“Look, I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but it’s not like he’s listening to anyone right now. Trust me, I’ve tried-”

“Maybe he’s not listening”, Ai admitted quickly.  


The boy sat on his place on the grass, fingers always fiddling on something. Now he let the blades of grass he had been braiding unattended, and focused his blue eyes on him confidently.

“But he’s hearing”.

After all, the fighter did soften to the boy’s idea. For whatever reason he tried, it all fell for deaf ears. Ai had already set himself on a mission, so there was no use to halt him anymore. All Rin could do, was eventually grant his approval. Although he wasn’t so sure about leaving the two of them unmonitored again, Ai convinced him that he knew what he was doing.

As soon as the sun descended into the horizon, Ai headed to the river. Trying to numb his nervously pumping heart he paced, steps accelerating to distract the uneasiness. He hadn’t visited the area for some time, and sending his final thoughts to Rin who was waiting in the camp, the water gem pondered if he could still cancel the whole thing. Confronting the man again terrified him, no matter what he told himself. Was it a wonder, considering the way their paths had crossed? Ai wished he had a better plan, but he was already there. It was too late to have second thoughts. 

The gem stepped out of the bushes, revealing himself.

Sousuke sat slumped, back towards the visitor. Water rushed down the channel in front of him, the blackness raging up to the walls occasionally. And although the drops landed on his hands, the gem wasn’t discomposed. His meditation wouldn’t be broken by anything, or so it looked like.

Ai settled down next to him, leaving a safe distance between them. While he hunched his shoulders, hiding smaller and smaller into himself, the other sat strong, inviolable. Sousuke reminded Ai of a mountain, his devotion to that one spot so intense. He knew that he had crossed a line by coming there; the forbidden altar. He would have to go deep or it would be all for nothing.

“I’m sorry that you lost”.

Sousuke didn’t stir; didn’t show any interest to his apology. Ai sat and waited, hands resting on his lap. But nothing happened, and he had to lower his stare abashed. It was unclear if it would ever work out, but the boy didn’t want to accept any more losses. He was tired of running for his life.

“I wasn’t much of a help, eh…” The gem tried again; and again, earned no reply. And he had to let it occur him: what he had expected. That Sousuke would just accept his apology? It was foolish of him to have wished so… But no matter how wrong the context, Ai knew he had let down his expectations. His cheeks gathered blush because of it: managing to successfully fail another task set up for him. He had never been that good with fusing, but the fresh devastation still stung like no other.

Nevertheless, Ai made the decision to not surrender in front of oppression this time. He had to distinguish his own will from the fusion and Sousuke’s, hold onto it, and remain himself.

“But I didn’t want to hurt Rin. The warp pad is broken, so he is stuck here, and we have kind of become friends you see”. 

He had done what he had done for a reason. It was the piece that was him, and also what he wanted to apologize to Sousuke: for not dancing to his tune anymore. 

There’s always someone you’re letting down when you want to choose someone else, as your shadow is cast behind you when you turn towards the sun. The person Ai had chosen was Rin; and it’d always be, no matter how many disappointments he would have to cause to the other man. Living out the suffering of others is a way of life, which the water gem finally declined. 

For all the time he had spent trying to serve people that thought nothing of him, he had learned to find the ones who he would choose. As Ai’s thoughts shifted to Rin, his speech did too. Talking of their lives on the island, he could pretend that there hadn’t been any disturbance in their days, and believe it… For it represented everything safe and familiar to him. He would give anything to be able to return there. Ai wasn’t sure why he felt like sharing it with Sousuke, but was convinced that explaining the context regarding Rin would make it better. At least it made him feel better; focusing on the things he held dear.

He didn’t want to contemplate the lost fight and fusion any longer. Sousuke hadn’t experienced many defeats before, so on some level Ai understood his clinging to it. But remaining in the past wouldn’t help him carve into the person he wanted to become. The water gem was unsure of how to deliver that to him, for he was so mute… As if he was no longer there.

Something had changed with the man. Ai could detect it in him now. Where could so vast amount of rage disappear in a matter of days? Furthermore, he couldn’t tell any emotion from his marble-like form. As if he had been turned to a statue, a memorial of an event so legendary, so full of power that it had left an impact on both of them. Now the container of it, Sousuke appeared to be just a memory of what had been so meaningful... And there it was; he had lost all meaning to his life.

It sent chills spurting up Ai’s spine. Seeing through their creature’s eyes again, his hands their fusion’s hands, he understood it and it burned. It chained him to that person through some invisible force, as the agony they had been feeling revisited him. And so, the hollowness of the man’s stare became different kind of intense; the ashes of that late bonfire so black that Ai felt like it’d stain him if he looked at Sousuke any longer. Whatever there was left, had been compressed like concrete, so that there was nothing to break. 

The boy felt the desolation kick in. After all, he was terrified of his capacity to hate; the relentlessness of it and his self-destruction. In what kind of high spirits had he thought that he would be capable of handling all that? He had been crushed with his blackness before, and the next round didn’t seem any easier. 

Ai’s shoulders were trembling now. Like an impending earthquake... Yet, the one was locked in next to him, never to disclose anything. Ai realized that his weaknesses hadn’t left him after all, but were tangled in his deep dark fears. It kept rising like the black waters did down in the channel, the surface chasing after him relentlessly. Only the man’s shadow seemed to expand before his his eyes; stretching into the places inside his head where he kept shrinking smaller...

Not quite freed from what had happened, Ai returned to the camp. Colors faded from his face as if he’d seen a ghost, he appeared even quieter; which made Rin worry sick. But the water gem rejected consolation of any kind. He felt lonely yet untouchable to his core; only in need of company, not comfort.

They seemed to have a black hole sitting by the edge of the river. It slept within Ai’s dreams, for he couldn’t catch a wink that night -and although he didn’t leave Rin’s side, didn’t let go of that bright flame, he still felt like his soul was being pulled.

Rin got the warp fixed.

The timing for that couldn’t have been more off. The goal that wasn’t supposed to be achievable; Rin’s biggest hope and dream, operated again. The gem watched his ticket to freedom glow at his feet. It was there for him to take; but suddenly he didn’t want it anymore. The journey had made the destination meaningless; to the point where achieving it felt more ruinous than rewarding. 

His rusted dream, the functioning crystal increased the pressure between the inhabitants. The question of who should leave, if anyone stirred up -and who would want them to? Rin certainly wouldn’t want to leave Ai alone, but at the same time, agitated over his wishes. If he hoped to have his glorious life back, the red gem would cooperate without question. It was not to say that he would do so with pleasure; but moving aside his own feelings for Ai’s sake would always be more important to him.

Yet again in that spiral of expectations and insecurities, they struggled to keep on living. The tamed red and the pale blue trusted each other anywhere else but on their skin anymore -drifting further apart in order to respect each other’s boundaries. And as the time passed, the list of things ignored got evenly longer.


	5. Sun

Bath day. 

Maybe more of a swim; gems didn’t particularly need a cleanup. Consisting of pure light, he hardly gathered dirt, but Ai enjoyed submerging in his element nevertheless. He had told Rin elsewhere for a couple of hours, so he could listen to the water in peace. He hadn’t had time to do that for a while.

It was a soothing, welcomed change. That morning had dawned differently, as if anticipating something, and Ai let his thoughts wander about it while he stripped down his clothes and waded into the water. Reaching the deep end, his toes no longer felt the floor of the lake, and the gem surrendered to the arms of the waves. Drifting further in, Ai let all the dust and recent stress leave his body, and confined it his heavy burden.

Staring at the clouds above the tip of his nose, Ai couldn’t help but wonder if the feeling in his stomach was the same than what his island had had recently. A small tip of a mountain, peeking out of the vast ocean around; or a small gem drifting mindlessly in a lake. Was there really a difference? Voice lost in the winds, muted and afraid; made insignificant by the world. The gem huffed, and closing his eyes, slid under the surface. 

The war waded off underwater. Ai enjoyed the silence it provided -it was the only place he could achieve such tranquility. There was no disagreement, expectations or pressure there: the body of water held the peace to just exist, and the gem found his place in the world within its limits. 

Sun’s rays poked through the glass. The shine hit his eyes, greeting him from somewhere in the surface -it was the only visitor he’d accept right now. In the deep, dark blue, it impaled the substance around him, and in the small illumination Ai became aware of his body again; fingertips and toes. He would be alright, the lake gave its promise. It was the consolation he had been looking for; after that, he was ready to return. 

Ai gave up the resistance, and let his body rise up. Quietly as he did, bubbled up his worries, reaching him as he reached the surface. His glorious isolation was traded for a restless presence there. Ai wasn’t sure how to feel about being surrounded by people again. The burden became more unwieldy on his shoulders, his stress hardly explained, yet roughly summarized by 'not good enough'. Ai was afraid of the mistakes he would inevitably make in the jungle of social interaction, the rules of it, and the quicksand called presumptions. What reasons Rin would find to dislike him for, the gem couldn’t tell yet, but was convinced that something was prone to come up.

Nose slitting the skin between the lake and air, he arrived. Light was white and violent there; much apart from the comforting dark glow he had travelled from. Fluttering his still unaccustomed eyes, head just above the borderline, the gem peered the world. It had almost only ever offered him disappointments, and Ai felt like nothing would ever change. Days would always be a chain of let-downs, tied together in a necklace of decaying pearls. The water washed the tiredness tenderly off him, healing his open wounds. Melting into the gently rocking, the gem wished he could stay in the pond forever. It had been his only friend before his best friend had appeared, and continued to be his comforter after that. Because unlike him, water could be found everywhere; it arrived from the sky, so there was never a distance. It was the friend whose arms he could always return to.

The warp pad was fixed. Neither of the active gems knew what to do with it, so they just ignored it while continuing their daily lives; as if the question hanging in the air would vanish that way. They were too accustomed to each other and the whole situation, that it became safer somehow; pretending that the Homeworld had stopped existing... But the obvious didn’t budge, it didn’t even fade. They had problems, yet no one brave enough to intervene in them.

Ai had tossed his clothes carelessly under a bush near the shore. He didn’t spend it a second thought while floating, yet he didn’t know that the bush in question was already populated. 

Rin was passing time by strolling nearby. The afternoon was drowsy, and he couldn’t seem to find anything to occupy his restless thoughts with. Ai had spent the whole morning in the pond, and it made a large piece of map out of bounds for him. The red gem strictly clung to his path while dashing around, wanting to respect his own time.

Soon enough, something in the grass was able to catch his eye. Refreshed by the unexpected turn in scenery, Rin investigated his finding. Sticking out of the grass in a lonely manner, a pale color contrasted with its surroundings. A piece of light blue fabric laid abandoned on the ground. However, as the gem approached, the peculiar thing moved away from his hands. 

Rin could guess the incident now. He crouched down, a smile conquering his lips.

“Excuse me little buddy, but I don’t think that’s yours.” The red gem spoke gently to the hedgehog peeking underneath the garment. Careful to not bring any hurt, Rin detached the shirt from the small animal’s spines before lowering it back to the grass, releasing it from the predicament. 

Staring at the piece of clothing in his hands the man stood up. The shirt was light and soft, an opposite to what he was used to wear. Having it in his hands felt out of place, wrong even -Rin shook off the thought.

He had wandered to the waterfall. Across from where he stood in front of it, reposed the warp pad. The falls seethed while Rin stared at it wistfully; if he squinted his eyes enough, the crystal installment almost fogged out in the foaming... The warp question was hard for him because he didn’t know what he wanted from his life. Getting trapped on the island had felt like the end of the world at first; but now, he felt like he would not know how to live outside of it anymore. It was a safe haven for the runaways, a corner of the war raging world that only knew peace. Rin wished that it would always stay that way.

In the middle of his thoughts, the fighter was alarmed by a familiar noise. Focusing his eyes to the cause, he saw the warp pad glowing, generating its familiar pinkish glow across the river. 

It startled him. The crystal hummed as it was being operated from the other end, yet Rin couldn’t think of any person who could be behind it. Even the possibility, that someone could use the island’s warp not to leave but to _visit_ hadn’t even crossed his mind! He took a hesitant step back. Should he notify Ai of the intruder? Quickly though, he landed on a decision that the boy had been through enough. Whoever it was at the other end intending to pay a visit, could meet him first just as well.

The light reinforced, bringing the guest through. A young boy appeared into sight from the gap of glow. He was tall, with locks of messy orange hair scattering all over his face. A short vest was buttoned carelessly, and paired with the harem pants low on his hips gave him a laid-back image. The round, bright gem on his navel was a confirmation of his species.

The new gem looked excited, as if on the brink of completing something long-awaited. Yet, as he saw the man standing at the other side of the river, his expression changed from relief to surprise. They didn’t get to stare each other for too long, before the lively boy burst into speech.

"I'm Momo from Samezuka clan!” he shouted, stating his name and occupation valiantly. 

“Where’s Ai?"

Ignoring the question, Rin’s attention was snatched by a certain word. Samezuka? Known for their amazing fighters? The red gem pondered if he should be prepared to fight, but seeing the kid and his long noodle limbs, he decided it wasn't worth the shot. However, whatever business he had with Ai could wait until he had proved himself harmless to him first. Rin squeezed the piece of fabric in his hands unawares, adjusting to his new guarding position.

The strange gem stared at him fidgety. Skimming his piercing, golden eyes around the place in search of the familiar blue, he discovered it in the garment the red gem was holding. Large pupils narrowed as he recognized it, making him gasp.

“What have you done to Ai!?”

Rin glanced down at his hands, and realized his mistake; but the misunderstanding had already been established. In under a second, the other gem was summoning his weapon. A bright light flashed as the boy drew a long whip out of his gem, and letting out a battle roar he shot to attack. 

Ai heard the yells. 

Something was happening by the waterfall. Ai protruded his head wholly above the surface, turning to peer at the direction of the sound. His first thought was that it had something to do with Sousuke. Had he awakened from his slumber? An upset expression crossed the boy’s face, and shedding any relaxation he had achieved during the session, knitted his brows together. Droplets of water flew from his hair as he ascended from the lake hurriedly, and the splashing waves parted out of his way. This time, he wouldn’t just wait for the fight to find him.

The gem gathered his clothes as quickly as possible. The legs of his pants clung onto his calves uncomfortably, the soaked fabric biting coldly into his skin. Ai’s fingers were shaking as he tied his waistband, and just when it couldn’t have been any worse, he realized that his shirt was nowhere to be found. 

It was awful. Wearing his arms around his exposed chest, Ai huffed in frustration. What even was his luck recently? The timing was ridiculous; a possibility of another fight incomparable to a missing garment. The vicious circle of embarrassment lit up his cheeks, making him squeeze his eyes shut. He had just wanted to have a nice, peaceful day! Ai breathed through his hands for a while, before mustering up enough confidence to investigate the accident further.

Uncomfortable in his bare skin, the boy sidled through the bushes for a quick search. The noise turned up the closer the waterfall he walked. The first mystery was solved on the riverbank across the warp pad; the gem spotted the familiar textile laying on the grass. Ai picked his shirt off the ground and threw it over his head with relief. The second reveal didn’t take long either; just when his head popped out, he heard the yells again. This time, he recognized the voice.

“Momo?”

Rin turned around unaffected. Ai had appeared behind them, earning both gems’ attention. His shirt hung loose around his waist instead of being tucked in as usual, and his hair was adorably tousled and damp. The uncommon untidiness of his appearance underlined the perplexed look on his face. Rin turned his attention to those wide, confused eyes, but they weren’t directed to him.

“AI! What the hell is going on!”

Momo struggled against the knots his opponent had created. Rin had tied him up using the boy’s own weapon, and hung him up in a tree. It was pissing the orange gem off severely; kicking his feet in every direction he tried to flee from his prison, but Rin had done careful job with his restriction.

“Who is this person! What is he doing here -Did he hurt you, Ai? Tell me!”

The gem concerned was obviously emotional by the reunion, but was compelled to set the facts right. Ai stuttered and ended up with nothing clever, the tip of his nose tinting pink. Seeking to calm down the situation by some mean, he turned to the other man.

“Rin”, the blue gem asked desperately. “Please, let him down.”

The red gem did as he had been told immediately. All it took was one strong tug, and the whip was unleashed from the branch and around the boy’s torso. Momo fell down with a thump, and the moment he noticed that his limbs were freed, jolted up as fast as lightning. In less than a second, he had dashed to the smaller gem and captured him in his arms. 

Ai’s half surprised, half delighted laugh could be heard in the middle of that hurricane. Momo had lifted him up so his feet weren’t touching the ground anymore, but soared mid-air as he spun him around. 

“Momo, please stop”, could be heard in the middle of his gasps and little spurts of joy. The gem obeyed right away, letting him down. Standing on his own Ai was a bit out of breath, but that didn’t stop him from pulling the widest smile for his best friend. Cheeks dyed with a happy color, and face to face with an expression similar, he brought his hands up to cup the orange gem’s face. Momo was resting his arms on his hips, and grinning he stared into those blue skies he had missed so, so much during his absence.

Rin watched the reunion from the outside. He felt like he was invading their moment with just existing at that time and place. Shifting his weight from sole to sole he tried to keep his eyes to himself, but in the end couldn’t help studying the rare signs of affection. 

Ai was talking to the other boy now. Every soft word muted that only the designated recipient could have them, they were close enough that their noses could’ve touched. Momo beamed when he pushed some wild locks out of his face. Everything he said to him was like a blessing granted, and absorbing it the boy wriggled like an excited puppy. Ai stroked his thumb on his jawline, caressing the soft fuzz. It held the bouncy gem in place like magic. Better containing his excitement, Momo never once relocated his gaze from him as if he was the best thing to have in this world. 

Rin took a step towards them. Momo caught the attempt, and grabbing Ai by his shoulders moved him behind his back. Casting Rin a murderous glare he stood like a wall between them. The red stopped on his tracks, raising his hands to gesture his surrender. Two pairs of eyes onto him now; one confused pair and one suspicious he cleared his throat.

“Anyone care to explain?”

After a long, messy story with two narrators, Rin had gathered most of the situation. Momo was Ai’s friend. Because of his training, he had had to stay behind as Ai had left their clan a couple of years ago. He still visited him regularly, up until the warp had broke. The story left a lot of loopholes open, some of which Rin would’ve wanted to hear more specifically. However, Ai didn’t seem too comfortable talking about his past, and the red gem respected his right to privacy. 

In turn, he summarized roughly the reasons that had washed him to the island’s shores... And inevitably, came around to mention Sousuke. Momo found another fighter’s presence absolutely outrageous. He was exaggerating of course, unknowing of the nature of the situation. Neglecting any opposition to his idea of chasing him away, Rin and Ai had to let him go over to the river, failing to convince him that the man wasn’t up to anything.  


A few nerve-wracking minutes later, he came back declaring that he had ‘showed him who’s the boss’. Despite of his victory Momo insisted that he would be accompanying Ai for some time, just in case. No one stood against the plan, so it was taken into effect.

The arrival of that sunshine boy seemed to bring the change the residents had been waiting for. Refreshed and delighted, the island fed off the unconstrained energy that he shared. Rin found it hard to get a clear image of him. While he was used to Ai’s calm way of being, Momo was constantly on the move. He had been explained to be a bit of a younger generation, but his appearance only could have never given it away. His behavior then -it disclosed it. He was like a kid, Rin thought; loyal and groaning at anyone who mistook to get too close to Ai.

In every area Ai was shy and reserved, Momo was quite the opposite. Rin’s curious gaze efficiently pinpointed the things that differed. He talked loudly and took up space, and his voice expanded into the isle’s every corner, making it even smaller. His boldness had Ai completely enchanted, leaving Rin outside of their circle. From where he stood, he watched them, and observed the change overtaking the light blue.

He looked happy. Like a long period of winter had just ended, his summer warmth returned to his arms, that kind of happy. Rin hadn’t even realized how trapped he had been, how his body had been straining for this. He was a pale little moon, that emerged to shine when getting to reflect the other’s light. And Rin was surprised to see Ai, for the first time in quite some days, smile that freely...

Ai spent the whole afternoon with him. Just talking and gesturing softly, his gentle voice was at times ran over by Momo’s big responses. They had a lot of catching up to do, and while Momo talked a lot about how his training was going, Ai talked about Rin. His island had never been that interesting before, the fighter’s presence just made it more remarkable. The way he talked about their friendship and his progress so adoringly led Momo to have an idea.

“Hey, Ai”, the boy cut out his friend in the middle of his sentence. Ai turned his eyes on him surprised, realizing that he hadn’t been listening to a word.

“Wanna fuse? We could totally impress that red one with it.” His sly glance ran over to Rin and back to Ai, the daring suggestion stretching his lips. It made Ai realize that he knew, that he had seen through him, and with that he turned to be ‘the red one’.

“How did you...” Ai couldn’t finish it; he didn’t know what he was trying to say. Then again, Momo knew. He threw one arm over his friend’s shoulders, and giving him a squeeze of encouragement, laughed out.

“I know you so well! We’re not best friends for nothing!”

After all, Momo proceeded to talk him into it. Ai didn’t know whether to be terrified or excited, but it was too late to take back his word. Momo was so genuinely enthusiastic about playing around with him that he could barely keep it together, skipping all over the place.

So, the setting was arranged. Their venue of choice ended up being the meadow, and Rin was asked to stand and watch by the edge of it. The red gem was curious about their fusing; he couldn’t really figure out what the duo imagined to achieve with it, but rolled with the idea anyways.

They started out slow. Standing at the opposite ends of the field, the gems prepared for the show in their own ways. Momo stretched his long limbs and did a little jumping, and Ai attempted the same. His routine however was disturbed by his self-consciousness. Very few had ever been granted the permission to see their creation, and even fewer had seen him dance... It twisted uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach; he couldn’t help but worry of what Rin would think of their fusion.  


Side-eyeing the red silhouette by his right made his palms sweat and heart drum in his ears hard -so hard that he missed Momo calling his name. Ai snapped out of it with lit up cheeks, and hurriedly copied the starting pose Momo was in already. He knew he had to stop thinking if he wished to get through with it, but being watched brought a new flavor, and the gem had to work hard to be able to forget that detail.

Rin watched the take off keenly. The boys started to move, making their way towards each other in a perfect sync of a heartbeat. Momo’s style was rough and upbeat, the rhythm fitting his explosion of a character. He really knew how to move his body and keep a tempo, making every hit follow perfectly. He was an entertainer at most, his individuality and vigor boosting his moves further. 

Ai, however, wasn’t falling second. At first his steps were a bit stiff, but with a little persistence he was able to shed it off. By every step he took, he gained a sense of confidence that would relent his self-consciousness until he got rid of it entirely. Sinking deeper into the dance, he wasn’t aware of the audience anymore. 

Comparing his moves to Momo’s wouldn’t have made justice to either. Ai’s dancing was smooth and sensitive. The movement flowed through his body like water, from the tips of his fingers and toes to his crown, like he was one with it. From his fluttering eyelashes to the curve of his back, it was there as he spun; skipping light steps on his toes. He was indeed a dancer when he chose to, continuing the beautiful tradition of the water gems before him.

Rin couldn’t take his eyes off him. Everything about Ai’s transition hooked Rin more intensely within; it resembled that moonlit night at the lake. The importance of the view back then was vast to the gem, and watching the boy dance led him to see the similarities in the water handling ritual. Maybe integrating with an element was a kind of fusing in itself; for it brought him the same kind of fulfillment than their fusing now. 

By now, all hesitation had left Ai’s face. He brought his hands up, determining his freedom to dance with a friend. It had the comprehensive, genuine joy where he was entirely happy with who he was and what he was doing. And it was gorgeous -his breathless laughter, sweat-trickled cheeks, and open-mouthed smile set the red gem’s heart race. Rin had never witnessed anyone blossoming that way, right in front of his eyes. He watched him grow from small and fragile to vibrant and beautiful, the becoming hypnotizing the casual watcher. Even Sousuke turned his eyes on them from across the field. 

The beat quickened, their breathing thickening as the gap between them narrowed rapidly. Rin supposed that the meadow hadn’t still been enough of an arena, for no area would be enough to take up all that energy. Momo and Ai filled the whole room with their movement, the build-up, the anticipation -an explosion waiting to happen. When they’d be brought together, it would be the finale.

Ai ran his hands up and down his sides. Pleased with his dance, his enthusiasm shone through the movement: the delicate roll of his shoulders, the sensual bump of his hips. Chest to chest, the gems twirled around each other grinning, moves reading their excitement. Their stones had already started to glow, thirsty pulling towards the other; but they weren’t finished yet.

Ai moved teasingly around the other boy, purposely slowing his pace. He hovered light like a butterfly wings; beautiful and untouchable. Teeth sinking into his lower lip, he raised his eyes before withdrawing.  


Momo then -he was so into it, eyes locked to the other’s, that he wasn’t contradicted about the sudden turn. Having danced with Ai so many times before he knew what was coming, had learned his quirks by heart. It was worth holding back; Ai was shy, but when given a little space he would bloom. Momo just had to wait until winning his trust. Taking a step back, the boy grinned with anticipation; waiting for his signal.

Ai had ascended to tiptoes. Motions round and dreamy he stretched his limbs, hands finding their way over and around him. Every pair of eyes in the room was on him as he swayed eyes closed. They held their breaths as his waist rocked, looking, waiting -for the moment he would turn and reveal his secret. And he did, throwing an intense glance to his dance partner. It disheveled his hair, and picking up some speed he spurted to run.

What came as a surprise for the members outside of the pattern, did not for its creators. Momo had read his mind and was already there as he leaped. Jumping up, he caught the water gem in his arms mid-air. Their bodies slammed together, and Ai locked himself around the orange gem’s neck. Both of them burst out laughing, and they became kids again; like their worries were a mere game, a rule-filled composition only adults had to understand.

Their laughter released the tension. Bumping their foreheads together, they held each other in the air, and their gems responded to the request. That was the turning point: their outlines muddled and colors melted together, until Rin couldn’t tell them apart anymore. Only their stones gleamed in the middle of the formation, although the bubbling sound could still be heard -Ai’s adorable, out-of-control -giggle flavored with Momo’s deeper bursts and snorts. Bright fusion light flashed just before they hit the ground, covering them entirely as two became one.

Orange and blue meddled; getting lost but intentionally. Rin brought his palm up to protect his vision, but even with his eyes shut he could fathom the light’s gathering and follow its rising. As the spinning formation enforced, the two’s laughing mended into one powerful sound. And it didn’t stop, but transferred within the ritual, generating into the person’s voice.

The fusion let out a cry of joy. The light moved over, and the creature emerged; kicking their limbs to all possible directions. Descending to the ground with a loud thump they turned their beaming eyes to Rin, pupils expanding on his image.

They had a wild, golden tousle of a hair. That was the first thing to catch his attention. The blond angel locks curled at the tips, framing their perfectly round cheeks and innocent eyes. They looked like a young child, but Rin could already tell that that wasn’t all.

Peach-colored onesie covered all of their limbs: a pair of legs and two pairs of hands. The upper half moved uncontrollably, like each of their arms had decided on a different path. Fabric stretching from his neck to all of their wrists and ankles, the cloth hugged their slim frame and long limbs gracefully. It only swerved from the two stones; one on their belly and the other between their collarbones. Ai’s gem gleamed on their heaving chest, the other's dazzle responding to it. The illumination flickered against their perfect skin in synchronization with their heartbeat. 

Coming out rather small, the creature only rose on the same level than the youngest trees. But what was lacking within the size, was compensated within the energy; the love and happiness pouring from them. They moved dreamily like in a renaissance painting, leaving behind a mess of color; looking just like what the child of the sun would look like. 

Rin could only admire the golden, shimmering mirage before his eyes. Their whole appearance radiated joy; as if they were happy for the mere reason they existed, for just being there. And as if they’ve never been there, the island fascinated them endlessly; the secret and exploration brand new... Smile wider and brighter than anyone’s, they showed off their sharp fangs and mischievous grin.

“Hey Rin, look at this”, they suddenly spoke, and the voice echoed to the trees, resonating from every stone on the island. Rin blinked his vision clear astonished. Who would’ve guessed that they could do that! Without further ado, the fusion picked up what they had promised; taking off impatiently.

Their moving was awkward, their muscle memory not entirely familiar with the movement attempted. But putting together Momo’s skills and Ai’s adaptability, they quickly overcame the irresolution and were back on their track. Rin watched them go out to the river, and lift the biggest amount of water from the channel before trashing it back with a cackle. It seemed like Ai was thrilled to test out his powers in their maximum capacity, while Momo was playing a game. Either way, they came along delightfully well, and it warmed Rin’s insides. He knew that it was an excellent reward for Ai who had been extremely stressed lately.

The creature was swift to change their mind. Like a weather-vane, they were off to try new tricks in the pace of the wind, performing cartwheels and somersaults and whatever else they came up with.  


The show amused Rin, who found their fusion absolutely absurd. He was used to think fusing as a weapon, but looking at that grinning mess he didn’t know if that was right. Fast and resilient, the golden cloud flowed between the tree trunks, renewing everything old and stable.

Rin’s confused chuckle emerged as a response to theirs. Unfortunately, it was like gas to the cat-like person. Firing them up, the flush of their cheeks deepened as their pace intensified to breathtaking. Momo was hooked on entertaining the audience, but Rin’s rare expression was also perfect for distracting the other gem. So the creature turned their head towards him when they should’ve paid attention to where they were going, and ended up colliding with a tree.

The curtain dropped. The fusion splitted in half by the impact, releasing the light they had absorbed. Rin exhaled as he witnessed the expected; a fusion that incoherent wasn’t prone to stay together. Despite of it, the two gems didn’t agree to separate -they held onto each other even after regaining their forms. 

Momo and Ai landed on the meadow, rolling in the grass together. Chests panting hard, thirsty for air they stared at each other with astonished eyes, sweaty and baffled after the performance. 

The silence didn’t last. As the realization that they were in fact their own persons again sank in, the boys dissolved back into laughter. It was silly, right? How much they would forget for the sake of their fusion. And silly or not, it brought them so much joy they would always be ready to go for another. Laying on his side, Ai stretched his hand out to wrap his fingers in Momo’s hair. He couldn’t put into words how much his friend meant for him, but guessed that the message had reached its destination. And it had.

Meanwhile outside, even more outside than he had been the whole day, if that is even possible; Rin stayed on the place he had been told. A smile was still hanging onto his lips. He watched the boys from afar as they embraced and laughed like happiness was their inside joke. And it made him want to feel happy for them, it really did, but he found himself inadequate… Small as it had been born, a new emotion popped up in the back of his brain, and the smile on his lips died out.

The sun settled. Rin stayed up for a long while after the trio had returned to the camp. As the moon rose, new questions rose behind his eyelids. Staring at the ceiling of his sleeping place, he knew he would be restless long into the night.


	6. Nightmare

Rin woke up to an undistinguishable noise. 

Something told him that it had been Ai; he thought he would recognize his distressed voice anywhere after that one particular morning. Shaken by it, the gem got up abruptly and rushed out of his tent, locating his cry of help to his cottage across their small camp.

Pulling aside the fabric covering the doorway roughly, Rin called out Ai’s name in the darkness of the room. An answer arrived from the corner in a form of an angry shush.  


Momo had made it there first. Slowly, Rin’s eyes adjusted to the pitch black, and he could distinguish their characters against the canvas. Dim, milky light spilled in, as the moonlight from the narrow opening he had created streaked over the two gems.

Huddling in the corner, Ai was placed on the other boy’s lap. Face buried into hiding, only his neck was exposed from underneath his short cut hair. His shoulders were trembling, hands clutching his friend’s neck tightly. Momo held one soothing arm on his back, confident as he had been there for him many nights before. 

The air was thick with the boy's whimpering. Still standing in the doorway awkwardly, Rin blundered out “a nightmare?” under his breath. And hell, he could’ve swore Momo rolled his eyes at the obvious before giving it a nod. They were completely out of reach for him; and understanding how much history between them he had undermined, the red gem felt almost ridiculed in his ignorance. 

However, Ai had recognized his voice. His muddy brain registering another presence in the room, he attempted to reposition himself. Pulling off Momo’s chest laboriously, he faced the character standing in the doorway. Momo shoved his hand up in his hair in a protective manner, but he still wanted to do it. From underneath his chin, Ai peered at the visitor, flushed face gleaming in the dark.

Rin flinched when their gazes met. The look in the water gem’s eyes was so betrayed and hurt that their color turned to deeper, darker blue. Clear droplets continued to join the already glistening beads on his cheeks, making their way down. In spite of it, the gem’s expression didn’t budge, but remained calm and serious.

It made Rin finally understood that he wasn’t welcomed there. In fact, he had protruded their shield of protective darkness with letting the light in, his existence invading the intimate moment. The fighter had acted out of instinct, but it didn’t mean that it had been the right thing to do. He shouldn’t have come.

Ai let his head fall back on its place against Momo’s shoulder, letting him be the only defence for his vulnerability. As he closed his eyes, Rin excused himself out of the shelter. He should’ve realized the bond between them as of now -the kind of trust they shared must have taken years to build. It was audacious of him to think that he meant anything to Ai, he hadn’t earned that place yet. He kept thinking about it as he sat down by the fire, turning his shattered hopes into ash along the burning wood.

He wanted Ai to trust him, too.

The night went on. In the darkness, minutes seemed to roll by slower, muted and hindered by some unknown force. Rin had neglected picking himself up, and was forgotten to stare into the fire. He hoped that his burning vision would take his mind away from the tent, where the boys now peacefully slept, saved from the night’s terrors. Side by side, Momo’s hands around Ai… Rin kicked a stone into the campfire. The image inhibited his sleep and kept him from having any peace of mind. 

However, the gasping night had concealed another one with insomnia. Momo crawled out from underneath the fabric; Ai had fallen asleep at last, so his job was finished. Locating the other night owl on his place by the fire, he frowned and let out a displeased growl. 

Not bothering to conceal his irritation, the boy sat across the fire. Rin found the clash between the faces he made and his actions annoying, and sulked dramatically on his side of the ring. The two idiots gave each other the silent treatment for some time, too proud to acknowledge the other in any way. But as the hour passed, the dancing of the flames tired out Rin’s eyes, softening his attitude. The night was completely silent excluding the crackling of the burning tree, the campfire in front of them creating a circle of light into the pitch black neighborhood. The red gem was the first one to open his mouth.

“What’s with Ai?”

Momo raised his hazed eyes from the glow. He looked baffled, both because of the broken silence and the realization that both of them had been buried in thoughts of the same person. Straightening his legs, he leaned towards him in a serious manner.

“You don’t know?” the gem returned the question, to which Rin shook his head. Momo let out a sigh and pulled back, bringing his hands behind his head. That was his pose when contemplating something important; now, it was what and how much he should tell the foreign gem about him. Knowing Ai, he would never tell him anything himself; and he came to a resolution. Rin had shown a genuine will to help. Besides, the night was going to be long and boring anyway, so why wouldn’t they have a chat while they were at it.

“Back in the clan, he was being bullied. A lot.”

The orange gem threw the truth into Rin’s face ruthlessly; he might as well have slapped him across the nose. A rush of blood raised pressure in between his ears. How it was his first time hearing about this? But as much as the truth was upsetting, it explained everything inherently. The boy’s shyness, soft way of speaking, inexhaustible compassion… The further Rin looked into it, the more unmistakable it became. Ai had been honed tough in a cold water, and said out loud like that, it became very obvious in his character. 

Momo was quick to continue once he had opened his mouth. He went into details, acted out full scenarios, and exaggerated; most of it just big words. The story was full of holes because the boy had been formed later than Ai, so he didn’t have any reliable information from the time before their friendship. Despite the odds, Rin managed to gather a good full picture.

The other water gems were the culprits. They had been very creative with finding excuses to torment him. Apparently, Ai had come out smaller than intended. A regular water gem would reach around two meters of height, and the boy was nowhere near that. One fault laid in his colors, too; his pale cerulean shade was like a washed out version of the others’ rich cobalt. Meanwhile they had trained their powers with changing the courses of rivers and waterfalls, Ai had been left with the ability to move a couple of pounds of liquid at a time. It had made him seem pathetic and inadequate in the eyes of the others, which had resulted in ruthless bullying of the runt of the litter.

“They’d take him out to the ocean and leave there, try to drown him, that kinda stuff. He’s afraid of large bodies of water, although it’s supposed to be his element, so y’know… They liked to use that”, Momo broke it down. Seemingly frustrated by the topic, he kicked sand into the fire with the heel of his shoe.

Rin stared into the fire hardly listening, vision burned white. The more it was being opened, the more it stormed inside him; feelings of injustice and vengeance. He swore that he would rip those bastards in shreds if he was to ever meet one.

"I dunno if I know the half of it. He won't speak."

Momo turned his gaze away from him after finishing his part. Rin's eyes followed his fingers’ curling, forming a shaky fist. He was also furious. The emotions surfaced alongside the words that left him: emerging like butterflies under streetlights at night. The truth he had been suppressing, the one he would never give to Ai: his powerlessness regarding his friend. The way the world treated Ai -Momo would rather take his place than to watch him suffer. But at the present time, he was limited to holding his hand along the way. The frustration with it was evident: Rin observed his eyes darken, unable to process the way the sun could burn out like that. In a lot of ways, he shared the feeling: wanting to give the world to a boy who thought he didn't deserve a grain of sand.

Rin sat by the fire long towards the morning, after Momo had given up and the fire had turned into white ash. He was preoccupied, thinking of all the things the water gem was holding from him. He hadn't even realized how far from him he had drifted lately. Getting back to him felt like swimming against a current, and Momo was a dam. He had really shuffled the cards in the board of that small island, and Rin was unwilling to unveil the reason for his endless displeasure concerning it. But at last, was forced to face it.

He was jealous.

Ai wasn't there only for him anymore. Rin could see it clearly now. He had made the expectations, for which he would be doomed for. For Ai to have another friend had never even crossed his mind -and how close to his heart the boy had got! Momo had surely worked hard to get that close, while he himself had took the boy and his company, his forgiveness, for granted. And now when those things no longer were, Rin was jealous. 

He was jealous of their closeness, their reliance, their mutual affection. Rin had never achieved any of those things with anyone, and it looked so desirable on the outside. He caught himself wondering what would it be like, to be able to trust and be trusted by someone, many times a day. And every time he was reminded; he wasn’t made of very trustworthy material. It seemed that his gem had been forged of an unstable mineral, lava of a volcano or a forest fire perhaps. Still, his heart craved for that feeling; being held by someone who was not afraid of his flame... And at the end of the day, he found that he wanted that person to be Ai.

The jealousy was the second thing Momo’s arrival had awakened in him. The other thing still waited his recognition -but one lonely night was enough to clear it. That day had been so burdensome for Rin it had seemed never-ending. Only when he had seen Ai with someone the water gem truly cared about, he had been able to acknowledge his own feelings. Up until that point, he had simply brushed it off as a will to protect the weaker -which was also true but just the tip of the iceberg.

The truth was, he was in love with Ai.

He was an idiot! Rin would’ve wanted to slap himself out of it. What was the point of catching feelings for someone who would never like him back? Ai was out of his league, and besides mad at him for some reason at the moment. He had ruined everything before anything had even had the opportunity to begin. And still, none of those reasons made any difference with his stupid, old heart. The lava inside his gem wouldn’t stop boiling, and its warmth melted his head’s resistance. 

Only one thing tormented him. No matter how much he had swore to protect the boy, Rin knew it was impossible -impossible for him, specifically. His presence brought Ai too many opportunities to get hurt. It had already happened once, and the gem would never again want to be the reason for his pain. Rin tried to dismiss the memory, but was unable to turn his face away from the truth.

He remembered it too well.

After the failed fusion which forming he had been unable to stop, the red gem had been seeking Ai on the field. He remembered the water gem’s small, trembling figure coming into view through the tall grass, the nature as if blessing the narrow alley leading to him. The image was vivid, the way it smelled like the small summer rain from earlier that morning.

Wading through, Rin’s breathing had latched in his throat in front of the revelation. The memory still did.

Ai had curled up; his small hands tightly around himself, and it was the saddest thing Rin had ever seen. His outlines had been glitching, in a fight to obtain his self again. White and fuzzy in the pace of his trembling, he had been somewhere else entirely, his gem the only thing that had kept its shape in the middle of it. 

Rin would’ve wanted to gently shake him out of that transition state, but had been afraid of diffusing his fragile form. He couldn’t have been touched; there had been no sound, almost no existence left, and although Rin had squinted his eyes hard the image hadn’t come into focus. Maybe he had been slipping, from this realm to another where he would’ve been able to cope with the pain he had. In any case, Rin had wished that whatever had needed to happen would’ve already, so he would’ve been freed from his misery.

Finally, Ai had made the decision to stay and not retrieve into his shining gem. The light had calmed down, as his soul had been fully returned to his body. But as his physical form had settled, so had everything else. He had taken a hasty inhale, like his first, and tears had immediately burst out of his eyes as there had been so much that couldn't have been held inside.

Having Ai back had made Rin finally brave enough to reach him, but although he had done so he hadn’t been able to tell if the gem had been there at all. His shoulder underneath his palm hadn’t felt like anything, as he had still been caught on that upset dream. The boy had brought out even more tears and gasped, and Rin had held his quivering body under all that hurting, keeping his pieces in place. 

Through the evening, Rin had sat with him as he had balanced between existing and not. The almost-meltdown had happened a couple more times; his shoulders going transparent underneath Rin's touch, the noise disappearing only to reappear shortly after. He had been ripping himself off of it, waiting for the thin coat of remaining to break. It had been painful to do; to embrace what had happened, and to figure out how to continue after it. He had felt so used and violated and exposed, that it had summoned countless tears, running from behind his closed eyelids. In the hurting of that conflict, he had found no other outlet than to let it out, because he hadn’t wanted to meet it.

Rin would’ve wanted to release him of it. Bending over the white miracle quietly, he had wished to do at last what he had failed -to shelter him from any more wrongdoing in the world. To see him so pained, wailing for what seemed like an eternity, had sealed his decision: it’d be his last cry. He would protect Ai forever.

But it was just love. Closing his eyes from the light the crack in clouds gave, Rin returned to that place. Catching a glimpse of Ai, who had returned to the field alone a few days afterwards. He had looked so ethereal, almost transparent in the middle of golden hay, a beautiful creature that wasn’t really there. Rin had wanted to go up to him and apologize for everything, but had found it too hard to approach him. What if he would’ve interrupted something momentous again? And so, the man had remained in the shadows of the trees, struggling to settle to his place on the outside.

The river rushed tirelessly through the isle. Seeing it foam in its channel only reminded him of his defeat anymore. The element would forever remain closer to his love’s skin than what his hands would ever be permitted to. Giving in to the dawn, the gem was brought back to the present.

He needed to act on it. Solving all the misconceptions and untangle the mess in his head wouldn’t be easy, but Rin couldn’t postpone the evident any longer. 

He would talk to Ai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday today (October 27th)! A great day to spend editing fanfiction.


	7. Love Language

The night had been disturbing.

Sousuke had sensed it. And although the morning had approached, it hadn’t eased the tension by a fraction. Down underneath his feet, in its canal, the black water rushed in its eternal race; race to achieve and achieve, from one goal to another. Sousuke knew that race well. He was sick of it.

It was almost time. The man had learned the cycle of his behavior, his tender mannerisms by heart; soon he would appear from the bushes, his light color and all.

And there he was again.

Sitting on the grass a few feet apart from him, that stupid timid expression persistently dwelling on his face. The water gem always chose the same spot, did it feel safe to maintain some routines. Sousuke observed in dead silence Ai’s intimidated slouching, finding it all frustratingly the same in himself. He hated to understand in vivid detail the way his soul bent under the overwhelming sadness and the memories, never to be released. He had never stopped to examine it in himself, but that boy had forced him to after burning the light blue with his black hatred hadn’t worked out.

Ai was uncharacteristically quiet that morning. Sousuke side-eyed him working on his art, his fingers crafting a handful of water absently. It always did wonders with calming him; soon he would be ready to share his burden.

Apparently, he had seen a nightmare about their fusion last night. Sousuke listened indifferently like always; not showing any signs of validation for the speaker.

Ever since their failure, the boy had approached him, and he had kept coming back. At first, Sousuke couldn’t understand why. Why didn’t he just give up on him like everybody else? But mindless talking seemed to have an almost therapeutic effect on him. Sousuke already knew all of Ai’s secrets, so it made little difference -everything he carried in his soul was safe with him. Sousuke understood the position of the little lion boy, felt his presence. Ai was huddling with his knees on his chin, and the black gem knew the reason for that.

He wanted to hate him. He had hated him, for a couple of first nights. Sousuke had certain aspirations; firstly, all of Homeworld should know his name. He was used to be the strongest, the unstoppable, the unbeaten. He wouldn’t lose to anyone; not Rin, and certainly not to the smallest of the water gems. And yet they had done that to him. Everything had lost its meaning afterwards.

It was solely Ai’s fault. If only he had cooperated, they could’ve beaten Rin with ease. All Sousuke had ever cared about was winning, winning, winning -like an unstoppable force, but Ai had turned out to be an immovable object. 

Unknowing of what he had been about to get involved in, it had been easy to manipulate the water gem. Ai was such a runt, a depthless replacement, while Rin seemed to play home with anyone he crossed paths with. Trading his company to anything was insulting, let alone the implication that he was comparable to that thing in any way -his rage burnt out any logic left, leaving behind the bare instinct to kill. He had wanted to hurt Rin, and his new little friend, and he had done so. He had seen how they looked at each other; snatching that away had looked like the perfect revenge, in which he had succeeded; they had slipped apart. Sousuke hadn’t thought anything of it back then.

But that pitiful creature, good for nothing that was Ai, hadn’t left his head. His form had deceived him, eluded him into thinking that he was of something weak and worthless. Barely made for breaking: Sousuke had seen a small, default gem, and he had pulled him into a fusion thinking that it’d be no-brainer to keep him out of his way. No gem had ever crossed ways with him while fusing; but there was a will of a full-grown fighter inside of Ai. No, even stronger; he was a creature of his own. The extraordinary defect mixed with resilience; a product of constant emotional torture he had went through. It made his mind of something else -something Sousuke had never seen before... And Ai was blissfully unaware of it.

Emotional and mental strength meant a stronger fusion. A fusion, which for some people means a deeper connection, is nothing but a way of gaining power and energy to another. To hoard the control of it to yourself is a selfish deed. Sousuke had spiralled down many gems to the point they had no longer recognized their own skin, feelings, or thoughts… Got them lost in the highway. But the man had been mistaken in underestimating Ai. That couldn’t have been done to him. 

All of it was enough to raise a dry smile on Sousuke’s lips. How ironic was it? How invested he had become, watching the other’s secrets. He had got intrigued, and suddenly the reason why Rin had chosen the water gem became clear. He was making the man better: Rin appeared far less unfocused and stressed nowadays. Ai’s handwork was unmistakable in the treatment of his inconsistent feelings and misplaced guilt. Without them, Rin’s scattered nature was finally able to function which made him stronger in fights. It followed a pattern, the memory of the water gem sticking to every place he had been to. Sousuke was very familiar with that pattern.

The unfamiliar one was Ai. It made the man sick, watching him being so terribly oblivious of they way he affected people and places. Nothing was saved from it -the harder the man fought back, the sooner it seemed to reach him in that space he had claimed. Sousuke found himself weak, for the third time since coming to that Diamonds’ forbidden island. He found himself almost anticipating this time of the day, when Ai dutifully sat down with him. The only person towards whom he had ever felt similar curiosity was Rin. The things he would achieve were not limited by imagination, making him wanting to witness them firsthand. And that’s how he knew -those people would become the end of him.

Deep in thought, Sousuke hadn’t noticed that Ai had tailed off into silence. He refocused when the boy began again. 

“I’m pathetic, aren’t I?”

The man turned his cool grey eyes to his profile. He only now registered how sad he looked; Sousuke had never seen Ai act quite like that. His usually bright eyes were pained, fixated to nothing in a hot, feverish cloud. It couldn’t have been just from the nightmare. Must it had unleashed something, fell closer to the truth.

Last night had been dark; the nightmare like a hand slid over his mouth. The only thing Ai had known were the warm arms of his best friend; he hadn’t distinguished Rin’s figure from the figment of his dream. He wished he had; the red gem had looked so hurt in the pale moonlight that the memory was suffocating, colored with his regret. It was the last turn of knife in their open wounds. Ai hoped it wouldn’t be the end of everything.

The guilt molding into his already open vulnerability made him shiver. In the daylight his insecurities crystallized into a vague fear -inescapable, much like everything else that was going on. What made the conflict increase, was something the gem had found swelling inside of him recently.

He had fallen in love with Rin.

He had fallen so irretrievably, irrevocably in love with him that he didn’t know what to do with himself. Only the realization held so much power and conflict that Ai felt like he was going to dissipate if he was to think any harder of it. With everything he was already carrying, the realization caused a crack run down his front, making everything a thousand times harder. There was no outlet for that feeling, no relief, yet who could he blame? Ai looked at Sousuke desperately, knowing that he understood, was just too proud to validate him in any way. Not because he was the same, but because their pasts had a similarity that only the people who are outsiders know.

Loving people when you’re a misfit is not easy. You may give your all and get nothing in return; it might embitter you, corrupt you, destroy you. It had had both of them leaving their lives behind as meaningless. Unable to think of what they were, unloved or sick? They had been cursed to an endless fight over their right to exist. What they could’ve contributed to the overall scheme and future of the Homeworld, their purpose… The reason why they were created in the first place, was just a hazy dream anymore. Incurable, they had had to stitch their own destinies, with varying success.

Ai was well aware of his slim opportunities in life. Thorough his existence he had been told flawed, as if the word ‘wrong’ was the only thing strangers saw written on him when they first met. And he had let everything to be done to him.

Even after fleeing, the island sometimes reminded him of a cage the wounded animal returned to after escaping. The memories sat tightly by his bed, their presence violent; and everything he did felt like an attempt to hide. Ai wondered if he would ever know peace; or was he born without it? For every morning that he felt its absence, he felt a little more incorrect still. He had wanted to get out of that dark cave, his deformed body, his life for as long as he could remember, with only one exception.

Rin made that feeling disappear. And the disastrous, gaping gap left behind filled with butterflies. His genuine interest and lack of judgement made Ai feel like a person, and not just a mistake. However, he was afraid that he was only in love with the feeling of being cared of, and that was prone to pass. But it didn’t pass. And although his love was very fresh and young in the thousands of dusty years of his life, it made the most difference. 

Every day when he woke up, he was surprised that the man was still there.

In the end, Rin felt like a dream at best. It was surreal. Ai was afraid that a dream it would stay, whatever that had developed between them. Just a beautiful fraud… A part of him believed it true, that the best thing in his life would abandon him, too. The portal was waiting; anticipating its chance to devour him. It made the gem hold his breath.

He got up. The day was on its better half, the sun leisurely moving lower from its midday peak. There was a lot to do and even more to say, but he found it all quite overwhelming. It hurt to stare straight to the other male, so he fixed his eyes on the sleepy forest behind him instead.

“Listen, Sousuke… I know what you did to him.” 

It had been on top of his mind for some time now. To _know_ constantly pressed him further down, making him the involuntary bearer of every truth. He was aware that Sousuke knew that he knew, and was coldly observing how he chose to act it out. His fate was in his hands now. They were all runaways, with their own crosses to bear; but some sins were worse than the others.

“That’s why this will be the last time. I don’t think I’m coming back anymore… I don’t think I can.” Ai took a deep breath, turning away. His gem might have invited damage just by existing; being instructed to collapse from time to time. Might have, but he had drawn his line now.

“Goodbye, Sousuke.”

As he walked away, Ai could’ve swore he felt the other’s eyes on his back. His black web seemed to extend to every corner of his island and his heart, and he found himself all tangled up in it. Intending to return to the camp, the baffled boy headed to the edge of the forest, but another encounter took place instead.

Sousuke wasn’t the only one aware of Ai’s rituals. Rin, too, knew where to find him when he needed to, every minute of the day. So long that they had lived right off of each other... He had been waiting for him there. Ai had come out looking more confused than ever, and the man felt sorry to upset him even more with his own announcement.

“I’m going to leave, Ai.”

They had sat down comfortably on the soft grass of the meadow. The blades moved sleepily in the pace of the leisure wind, rich and gold-colored like the man’s dream had once been. 

The decision hadn’t been easy to make. However, wasn’t he making the boy’s life more complicated by being present? He had brought so much pain into his little world, his steps ruining something inexplicable beautiful there, something he would never know again. On some level he knew that it was just him running away from his guilt and his desperate, desperate love; but the reel was already whirling. It was too late to stop it.

His words hung heavily in the air between them. Bouncing his leg, Rin waited for an answer restlessly. It never came. They had been awkward before, but now it seemed like Ai had stopped altogether. Discarding the idea of a polite exchange his eyes stayed stubbornly where they were avoiding his stare, the choked up blush spreading over his face and ears. Rin had no idea of what had caused that.

Ai tried to hiccup out a word, anything that would’ve helped him out, but found himself incompetent. Rin’s words had dipped him back to the cold water. 

Of course he was leaving. Ai had been waiting for him to do so since the day he had arrived; so why did it feel so discouraging? Obviously, Rin had life and dreams of his own, outside his little island. Caging him had never been intentional, and Ai had wanted to let him go... But he had also grown unsure over time. And so, every day after the warp had been fixed, he had waited for the man to make that choice for him, to release them from their misery. He had prepared for whatever answer, including this one. And yet the freezing disappointment still squeezed in. 

“When?”

It wasn’t what he had wanted to ask. But helpless against his heart’s breaking, he had to know. Rin gave him a questioning look, and it made his skin flush hotter.

“Tomorrow morning.”

“So… You’ll still be here for tonight?”

“Yeah.”

The small exchange of words tailed off. Rin watched the movement of the golden hay, thinking of ‘tonight’. He liked the sound of it. 

The reason for postponing his departure was that he was yet to figure out where to go. He didn’t really have a place; returning to his home village was out of options, because of what had happened there upon his parting. 

The red gem sighed. He directed his attention elsewhere, away from the topic. To the pale blue; after all, the only times he had felt at home had been with Ai. It would be nice, he thought, to enjoy this last chance to spend a moment with him. 

The evening went on. Their time was now limited, and Ai seemed to grow calmer, settling to the thought. They had reached the finality, the setting sun unfolding in front of them. Painting its colors over the field and onto their skin, it erased a lot of the pressure over their heads. If there was something to say, the time was now. Rin didn’t hesitate any longer.

“I’d like to fuse with you, someday”, The red gem said. Ai turned his head to look at him, a questioning look on his face. 

Rin had to act in the limits set by his own bursting heart. There was a lot of things unfinished between them, that being the first and foremost. Fusing with Ai symbolized everything he desired to achieve with him.

In Momo and Ai’s fusion, he had seen things that he had never associated to fusing before; joy, intimacy, trust. It had completely healed both parties, and left him irretrievably hungry to experience that first-hand. To possibly bond with Ai, was all he could’ve ever asked.

“But why? You’ve seen my fusions, and they are not very convenient.” Ai hesitated for a moment, biting his lip. “I am… pretty useless.”

The last words were nothing more than a whisper, but Rin heard him.

Few months earlier he would’ve agreed. Technique-wise, they were flighty. But just how much happiness they had absorbed from it wasn’t to underrate. The value of it was so otherworldly to the red he didn’t know how to express that.

They had both had such an awful experiences with fusing. To end up in a situation, where you lose your identity and you lose control, is not something you’d hope for anybody. The lack of trust and consent is what makes them spiral down, rip their bodies apart, and wash over their remains, the pieces of what’s left of you. You need to be willing to touch the other person’s pain to withstand the agony familiar to them.

Ai didn’t mean to refuse the offer. On the contrary; he didn’t feel worthy of it. After all, Rin was offering his vulnerability to him on a silver plate.

Still, the red gem read the truth in between his lines, his insecurity within. He was continuously on a tightrope with the boy, reeling him in by an inch just to let him slip two back. It was selfish, right? Everything he did was. But looking at the boy, he felt like he couldn’t stop, until he had dived into his marvelous blue, achieved everything with him. He wanted to teach Ai to be selfish, too.

“You’re not useless, Ai”, he said.

“Out of all the people I’ve met, you are the most important.”

There was so much in Ai that wanted to jump blindly into the leap of faith.

One kind word was enough to conflict all the things he had once been called, hundreds of words of the opposite. It felt like another knife, struck straight to his heart. 

The conversation had made him doubt the finality of Rin’s intentions, giving him a promise of their continuation somehow, somewhere. The hope made him hold his breath, silent and still as if a wrong move would take it away from him now, desperate to keep the man on that solid ground with him.

Ai squeezed his hands into fists on his lap. Directing his chaotic feelings out and into the quiet humming of the trees’ canopies, he sought to keep everything in for the last time. 

“Do you mean it?”

Rin watched his profile, quiet. He hated to see him crawl inwards, away from him. The tightrope tightened; their destiny tied into the aching, of how long they would be able to walk it. 

He decided to walk. 

With all the honesty that a man in love for the first time can have, the red gem moved closer. Ai pretended to not exist, as playing dead was the only way he had ever learned to survive. Busy to not feel anything at all; but Rin wasn’t hoaxed with the facade. He broke in, as if to light up an abandoned building, and claim for himself something that the others had deemed valueless. 

When Rin took the gem’s face in his hands, he noticed that Ai was in tears. The boy raised his own hand to hold it on top of Rin’s, but never relocated his gaze from the spot down his knees where he had laid it. Some things are just too painful for words.

Rin called out “Ai”, and his voice was low and compelling, its persuasiveness irresistible to the other. The same old sun that had tempted him from the first time they met was still there changeless; looking for it, Ai turned to the man. It was always easy to believe him.

The blue gem’s eyes were still leaking, brimming with the overflowing love that had slipped out of his control a long time ago. Rin brushed some away with his thumb. His seriousness concealed the fact that he was terrified, too; of bringing him more of that hurt. To seal his intentions and initiate a new chapter in their story, he asked:

“Can I kiss you?”

and with that, gave everything for Ai to choose.

Ai gave a small nod. 

And so, Rin had to face that he hadn’t considered actually getting that far. The gem had to act quickly while the urge was still breathing and not suffocated by his self-doubt. Ai closed his eyes, giving up everything for him. And for a moment, there was nothing in the world but the man, alone in front of his decision. Rin felt high and cloudy inside his head.

He went in for a kiss.

Ai’s lips were soft and parted. Intoxicated with it, the man left other things around them unnoticed.

The last shard of light disappearing into the night.

The white light generating between them, that grew to mimic another sunrise. Casting off the darkness as if the night had never been there, the glow illuminated the strands of grass, the surrounding nature, the sky.

Momo had put up a fire, waiting for the other residents to return to the camp. Sousuke sat on his spot by the river. The wind blowing through the trees’ canopies was silent, and so the island went on, leisurely watching the night crawl towards the morning.


	8. Secret

At first, there was nothing. Emptiness.

Then, everything at once.

It was the most powerful fusion experience either of them had ever had. In all its spontaneity and beautiful unintentionality it was pure, like the first snow on a winter morning. Sparking off of their touch, the declaration had been on the brink of overflowing for a long time, only to have an outlet now. Rin’s hand on Ai’s cheek, Ai’s hand on top of it, and mouth against mouth, they closed their eyes from the light devouring them and the night stopped existing.

Although Ai opened his eyes, he felt like he was dreaming; sharing the same dream with Rin. He could still see him there, in front of him or around, and also the past him; every step he had taken during his life. The brilliant play was stitched together from patches of his memories, hopes and dreams, and Ai knew that Rin was watching his version, too. The connection made his old heart flutter as if it was the only thing that it had ever learned to do. Maybe it was.

Rin felt like Ai was talking to him.  


Things he wouldn’t remember saying by the morning, things he wouldn’t tell to anyone else with his soft and promising voice. As the words dropped, they turned into steps closer to him, until they were alone together, finally. More than anything, the fusion was a dream. It enabled everything he had dreamed to them; nothing’s comparable to its intimacy. You cannot hold someone closer.

Asking questions, fervent, constant questions; and getting answers, the conversation went on and on without a pause. Hands reaching out to the other and meeting them, their grip firm and steady, they finally had someone to hold on to. They weren’t alone anymore. They weren’t afraid. It became their fusion’s main trait; the valiant first love.

The whole night they spent reading into each other. There were whole chapters in their pasts the other hadn’t been aware of. One particular piece of memory got Ai stuck; because he had seen it all before, once. Now, his version was being passed to the third party; Rin, who was surprised of the new perspective. Ai knew that he was watching, learning, and waited for his reaction. They saw everything through the same eyes, walking through the same dream hand in hand.

Rin had been young, and ambitious.  


He would’ve been the best fighter of his village if he had been able to overlook the one he hadn’t been able to beat. The dark blue gem had been swift like the north wind, a natural. Rin’s force and fire had been no match for him, and time after time, he had found himself burnt out on the ground. The unrequited rivalry had gnawed on him, but aside from that, his life had been pleasant and comfortable -simply perfect.

Then one day, he had met an ash-colored man in the woods.

Sousuke had felt like an imaginary friend to him sometimes. He would only meet him in the shadows of that place. Soon they had begun to train together, hard; and as goals and aspirations had transferred, their mindsets had begun to resemble each other. Winning had surpassed every other pursuit Rin had had. It had become a way of life, ultimately -a dangerous path to go down. And as expected, his kingdom had finally fell the day they had decided to try fusing.

Rin couldn’t remember anything during the time he had been in. But it must have been quite some, for they had traveled to a completely different location from the place they had started. And how much they had brought about; Rin remembered the aftermath too well. Every painful detail.

_Smoke_. Gems, his friends, scattered on the ground, all poofed. _Pain_. His hands and knees on the blackened, smouldering grass helplessly, like he had just been born into this chaotic world of his creation. Everything was running, screaming, and shadows; closing in on him from every direction, devouring him.

The worst thing in it had been the _guilt_.

He had simultaneously ripped apart the future he had once had, while burning down the bridges to how the things had been. The wrongdoing had been so profound that his brain had had no means to process it. Then, there was no going forward but no returning either, so the man had had to leave the stage.

Ai felt the shaking taking over him, like it had taken the red gem back then. He had to remind himself that it was just a memory, an image of the past. Rin was unresponsive for a moment, had to have relived his darkest moment. And dark it was -only then Ai understood the full extent of his race into the night, the indecisiveness within. Rin fully believed that he was a bad person because of the accident, but Ai didn’t judge him by the things in his past. He only knew the person he was now, and even with all his mistakes, the man with a crack running down his front would still be the one he would choose. 

They laid together in the fusion, quiet for a moment. Their personal histories laid beneath them, and although hurting, it was getting relatively easier to bear them. Even if, Ai thought; even if they were to make something holy out of this and just walk away afterwards, this fusion would forever be the experience he would appreciate the most. Rin must have heard, because the question came straight after.

“_Aren’t you afraid of me?_”

Ai didn’t have to think about his answer. 

“_No._”

And he showed him what he had seen in turn. 

When Ai had first dipped into Sousuke’s memories, he had cried because they were so much like his, had cut too close to home. They both knew what it was like to be an outsider. Where Ai had tried his all to keep up with the others, yet falling short -Sousuke had been too much. Too much to handle, too big to suppress, too powerful for his tiny village far in the south. He was talented, but in the wrong way -only cut out to destroy everything he touched. The others had been afraid of him, but in his eyes, they just couldn't understand his ways. He had had aspirations, goals greater than what the community could have offered. The others had been fools, anyway.

So in pursuit of something bigger, he had left -and kept going, until he had assured that there was no one who could’ve gotten the better off him. But every victory had only satiated him for so long; his frustration growing too big for his body to hold properly. With it, had grown the need to prove all of the Homeworld that they were wrong about him. The steam it had emitted had easily fogged a millennia; never really certain of all the time passed, of all the ties destroyed, Sousuke had been inexhaustible. Creating more and more warps, he had journeyed through the Homeworld, the detachment slowly forgotten. 

As he had had no places to be, he had decided to be everywhere at the same time. His fists had been full with wanting, seen more violence in that lifetime than thousands of years old beings in theirs. But it had all come to halt when he had come across a flame-colored man in the woods. 

Watching him burn had felt nostalgic to his own ash-colored mind, like watching a raw version of himself. Sousuke had known what would make him bloom as a fighter, the state the red gem so desired. Rin would have to cut the ties to his clan. Just like he had done -only after he would be fully freed.

The moment of opportunity had come sooner than expected. That day, Rin had come to the woods frustrated. He had yet again lost a fight against Haru, and already consumed by his own, raging emotions, the plan had taken little convincing. He had been blinded to all the casualties it'd take.

And they had been glorious.

Sousuke remembered breathing fire. He remembered the view above the rooftops, the steps of the giant, the feeling of tree trunks breaking to their knuckles. They had been the monster he had always known they could become. Rin might have thought himself strong, but mentally, he hadn’t been -and it had been easy to knock him out. Sousuke had needed the absolute control of their creation, and the road to his village. Only on those conditions he had been able to execute the plan.

Ai had been there. He had watched it happen, powerless to stop the wheels from turning because it was just a memory, and this was another fusion. With Rin, it was a conversation, both participants equally invested to create the best combination. With Sousuke, it had been different.

Ai had awakened in a black sea. In Sousuke’s demand of absolute control he had had to make their partner unequal to them by force. The waves had been like hands tugging him down, trying to bury him into their subconsciousness. Aware of every move, every fiber of their monster’s being, it had been a relief to see him -the only person keeping him sane, his anchor on that storm. But Rin had looked scared -and the realization that it was because of him, his own fist hanging in the air, had devastated Ai. He couldn’t have thought of any reason of why Rin would ever be scared of him.

To explain how he had tried to yell, to gain control over his arm by any desperate mean but couldn’t as the movement had already been locked by someone else, wasn’t easy. Rin understood, but Ai at least staying conscious in there was impressive. It had also been of enough interference to trigger the breakdown, which meant that Ai had saved him twice.

Ai felt a squeeze on his right hand. Rin interlaced their fingers, the touch bringing him back to present. The warmth of his palm was irreplaceable. It made it worth it -all the pain and danger they had endured to be where they were, to not be alone even for a few moments. In their amalgam was the peace they had been looking for, and the love. They had been so afraid of it after being told unlovable by many mouths; but the experience freed them of it. On that bright beach they walked together, spiraling deeper and deeper into the limbo.

The morning came.

Stretching into every small niche on the island, it banished the night’s terrors, coloring every surface with its light. Momo had dozed off on the sand. The fire had gone out hours ago, and suddenly illuminated, he revived from his slumber to the fact that he had been waiting pointlessly.

Wandering into the woods, the boy took a stroll around the place. Like a lost puppy, he guarded the remains of his dignity after abandonment. Where was everyone? A hint of worry mixed into the boy’s pouting. Unfair or not, it was nothing like Ai to break a habit; something was definitely up. His best friend’s name already dropping from his lips, louder, Momo sped up his steps and entered the meadow.

They were huge.

In a bed of flowers and grass, laid a person on their side. The Samezuka fighter let out a startled yell, scrambling backwards in the hay. He felt uncomfortably tiny in front of the revealed threat. To conceal his nervousness, he opted to use the intimidation tactic; already stating his name for a match, shaky fingers summoning a weapon. There were many unstable factors -he had no idea where a fusion that big had appeared on that tiny island, from the sky? How was he supposed to beat it, without even knowing who formed it? The boy found himself at a great disadvantage. But the disappearance of Ai reinforced the determination in his mind; he would protect him from this, too.

“Who are you!”

Still oblivious to the outside world a moment ago, the person was now alerted to the yellow gem’s yelling. Blinking off the drowsiness from their eyes, they rose from the ground, every move majestically deliberate. A gown of long hair followed, the strands of silk chasing their back. Turning their face towards the disturber, the fusion studied him as if to consider whether or not he was just a figment of their dream.

They were the most beautiful creature Momo had ever seen. Their features undetermined they looked ancient and newborn, leaving their witness uncertain if they had encountered a young god. Calmness and power radiated from them in such extent that it made the sole gem lose grip on his weapon, and it fell into the grass. He had been reassured that he would need no armor. Right now, the creature watched him with such kindness, the benevolence raining from their eyes in a way that made them immediately gain his trust. They meant no harm at all.

Pale and golden, they heaved like constantly in a dream with their eyes open, already gliding to the next word or thought effortlessly and with indisputable grace. The hair ran down their sides and neck like a waterfall, their shoulders and face round rocks sticking out from the stream.

Momo let his guard down altogether. Coming around to his question again, he repeated “_who are you?_”, but with a tremble of respect and awe this time.

The deity blinked. The thought, the dance all came to a halt; even the surrounding grass to stopped on the tracks of their movement. The confusion lasted only a heartbeat. Surely Momo would know them, the fusion thought. They had been best friends since his emerge! And so, they did nothing but looked, waiting for the dawn. While down on the surface of the earth, the orange gem pondered them. 

Momo thought that the twinkle of their eyes had something very familiar. The realization was striking on his face as it hit him; broken into a single word. “_Ai?_”

For he had finally, just almost caught up. Skipping his eyes up and down the creature, from the white oval gem on their chest and the red pointed stone on their forehead, he hit pay dirt. “And _Rin?_”, the boy cried out. The comprehension lit on his face like the dawn lights the Earth, and set free the explosive joy he had just discovered.

They were together. Upon his reunion with Ai, Momo had immediately seen the tender interest he had towards that strange red man. He didn’t exactly know what had happened, or would that person be good for him, but the fusion erased his doubts. Ai’s happiness shone vividly through the facade, and for that, he was happy too.

The fusion caught on his celebration, the contagious smile adapting to their face. In their so far serious expression’s parting into a sincere emotion, the whole island stopped on its tracks to stare. And by that, they became even more beautiful.

The fusion bent down, the lovers wishing to see their friend closer. Although their face only was approximately the height of the boy, he didn’t feel timid in the least. Enthusiastic to play with his new, big friend, the gem laughed loudly and- 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

-could be heard from behind him. Responding to the interruption, Momo turned to the sound and located the new player that had emerged to the side of their dreamy meadow. The fusion rose back up, glaring at his direction.

Sousuke stood in the shadows. His unreadable aura flattened their playful space instantly, bringing in a new flavor. Breaking the barrier now, he closed up to them through the hay, and his walking stirred something inside the fusion. Their expression hardened rapidly, and by his every step they grew more jittery. Momo made a silent note. What did the man want? But Sousuke kept silent of his intentions until he had reached the duo.

“_Unfuse_.”

Momo immediately reacted by making a face. “Man! Just let them have this”, he said, making it clear that the black gem’s company was unwanted. It was making Ai and Rin uneasy, and to ask them to separate was the final straw in audacity. To demolish such bliss just seemed so objectionable to him -as Ai’s happiness was a shining object to Momo. He had sworn to protect it. Besides, he was the one who had found the fusion first. They were his own secret friend, and the boy wanted to keep them to himself, like a child keeps the mesmerizing stone she found from the beach. 

“You don’t understand”, Sousuke gnarled. He shot a glance at the fusion, who hadn’t moved a finger. A pair of doubtful eyes studied him back from behind their defenses. “They can’t stay fused for too long on their first try. These two-” the man made a vague gesture towards the person. 

“-They don’t even know who they are anymore.”

‘These two’ were two gems of such an opposition. Both ends of the spectrum met was prone to create something extraordinary. The fusion scrutinized the claim. They knew the gems down in front of them; they knew Momo, who was their friend. They knew Sousuke, who was their enemy. But who _they_ were? They knew that they were young, the light of the dawning day only just touched their skin. They knew the love and the raw emotion, the flame and the river, inside them. But they didn't know who they were.

“I don’t believe you. Not after what you’ve done to him”, the fusion suddenly claimed, not sure of who they were talking about. But they were dedicated to protect the other; themselves perhaps. Their mouth showed small, sharp fangs as they spoke.

The sole gems turned to look at them talking, surprised. The sound of their vocals echoed in the small space, the ring of it telling how concrete of a fact their love was.  


Momo stared at his friend in disbelief. He wanted to take their side, but the seed of doubt had been planted. As a fighter, he was aware of the dangers of fusing; uncontrolled, it could end up in both gems’ dissolving. But wasn’t this fusion happy? Preoccupied, his eyes moved from the pale blue to the red. Wasn’t this everything they had ever wanted? It was hard to wrap his head around it, that something this beautiful could also mean something harmful. Should they be separated didn’t feel like a decision that was outsiders’ to make.

Yet, Sousuke made it.

Momo caught in his side-eye the movement of his arms, the flick of his wrist as he summoned a weapon. His chest was glowing, and the gleam reflected from his eyes, the light’s dancing determined and dangerous. He was going to strike.

Momo made it first.

As the man banged forwards, so moved the boy. The soldier wasn’t prepared to the surprise attack from his left, and so got landed a punch on his vulnerable side. With the same power he had approached the fusion, he now flung into the grass. Momo sprung back from where he had lost his balance with the hit, proceeding to take a stand between the target and the assailant. His moves were too swift for eye; although heaving, he didn’t have the title of the most promising young fighter of Samezuka for nothing.

"You can't just hit them!"

Sousuke spit a mouthful of blood over his shoulder. "If they don't unfuse, I will.”

So far, which meant a couple thousand years, there hasn’t been anything in his life that violence hadn't solved. This would become the first. 

Rin and Ai’s fusing ticked Sousuke off beyond measure. Not because he was jealous, but because he couldn’t stand watching them go so foolishly. He knew both of them too well, those idiots, that he should’ve known. From the moment he had seen the feeble glow of the fusion light in the horizon last night, he should’ve known. Those two would inexorably fuse, and they would get lost in it. They were far too selfless, trusting, open -things that were opposites of him, that he hated and envied at the same time. Wouldn’t watching them perish because of those things be satisfactory to him? Turned out, no -in fact, the state of their incident had become the only thing that had get him up and out after losing the fight. Not his self-will, resolution, or anger. No; _their_ distress.

So he had come, only to be judged. The only time he was trying to do something good in his Diamonds’ cursed life! From the ground, Sousuke glared at the orange-haired boy that had put him there, and the fusion. The red and blue mixture stared back at him, the misunderstanding strong in the air.

The fusion stood up. It was a child’s play with their dancer’s feet. Although delicate, their limbs were defined, putting into detail their absolute durability and strength. Taking them out by force would be exasperating, if not impossible altogether. Clothes following their rise, their flow reinforced the idea of an impending storm.

“You’re not going to take anything from me anymore.”

Sousuke scoffed. “You leave me no choice.” 

Even him caring was violent.

“Wait!”

Momo interrupted the tension in the room by throwing his arms open. Sweaty, ginger locks bounced with the wind that moved through the arena, sweeping through the participants with indifference. An unbearably heavy silence settled on top of them. Sousuke was about to say something dismissive -the boy was stepping on his soil -but as he locked eyes with him, they flashed with desperation. Those two, it was evident… They meant for something extraordinary for both of them, and the island.

Momo was deep inside the way Ai was thinking. He saw his friend’s gentle soul staring back at him from the creature’s eyes, and it told him that they didn’t actually want to fight. They were scared, confused and under attack; could they be blamed for it? Sousuke’s disapproval of them had complicated their feelings, so he wouldn’t get another chance. But Momo could still be able to set things straight.

“Just… Let me try talking to them, okay?”

He would let him have them. Momo took a silent twirl, leaving his vulnerable back open for Sousuke. And faced the fusion; high above his crown, the deity eyed his valiant pose. Minutes became excruciating; if the amalgam trusted him; crucial. The whole island seemed to hold its breath, until Rin and Ai carefully returned from the clouds, and lowered their open palm in front of the boy. Momo grinned, taking the invitation. He climbed on, and was taken in front of their face in the altitude.

High up above the treetops, far from the black gem down on the meadow, from the old, arduous things on their life level, unfolded another world of the surrounding sea view. The fusion stood unwaveringly, the wind in their hair the only thing they allowed to touch them. They were home, and Momo hated to strip them of that familiarity. He scrambled on his feet, thinking of ways to bring up that topic.

“Hey”, he started softly. The fusion stared back at him, the facade so elaborate that it was impossible to name what they were about. Being together was sweet escapism to them, an intoxicating illusion of unavailability; no pressures; no responsibility.

“Why did he try to attack me?”, they asked, eyes revealing their pain. It had occurred them that the demand to give those things up, their personal paradise, was coming from the outside; from the bright gem on their hand and the one on their feet. The world was keen on not letting them have anything, this was just one way of showing it. Momo sighed.

“Because you’re hurting my friends”.

Wouldn’t it have been less painful for all of them, to let them stay inside that false dream, never to be able to unfuse again? Would have, but the boy was already missing his best friend. They could make that decision sober, if they wanted -not high in their newfound love. Emotional, they had fused out of impulse, and got lost in each other. All the while being painfully oblivious about it. 

The fusion’s expression turned to confused, guilty -Momo could see how much they wanted to believe him, but were unsure. They had most likely realized their own incoherence, and were pondering on it. But just the tiniest crack was enough for him to get his message through. 

“You remember them, right? Please say you do”, Momo tried a careful, curious inquiry. 

“Try to think it real hard.”

The fusion was choked up. Nevertheless, they closed their eyes obediently, and started to perform the task. Their both halves, distinguished? The thought was obscure for them, but with a little effort, maybe...

And so the fairy concentrated on it, until they had persuaded each other to let go of their hands… Pure, glowing light ignited on the creature’s fingertips. Momo yelped and hurried upright, having the light show started at his feet.

“You did it! Look”, he exclaimed. The creature opened their eyes, slowly, and after lowering the boy back on the ground, gave both of his hands a closer look. They were like a child in their wonder, their astonishment turning sad as they realized its meaning.

“It’s happening”, they simply said. The light moved, devouring their limbs up to their elbows. The fusion was forced on their knees, the graceful fall of a kingdom, the end of an era. The two gems were at a loss of words in front of it, their silence respecting their departure. They sparkled and decreased, and when the meltdown had almost reached their neck, they offered their last, stainless remark.

“We’ll meet again.”

The person who the two gems form when they fuse is never just the combination of the two, but something bigger. That part of the fusion remains in them after it have first been created, and maybe it is them who feels the loneliest during their time apart. Unfusing is a heartbreak, because only inside of a fusion is their creation allowed to breathe. The simple remark, ‘We’ll meet again’, was a goodbye, but also their wish, to become the person the two of them were together again sometime. 

Drawing a breath that would be their last, the fusion shot a look on both Momo and Sousuke and gave a determined nod. Then, within an exhale, the light gently took over, closing their lids like a sunset closes the petals of a flower. The casket embraced their body and it began to shrink, forming two separate creatures.

Finally, the transformation neared completion. The unfusing lowered them on the grass tenderly like a mother lowering her child to a cradle. Their outlines still flickered, flickered -but came back sharp. Pale blue and red returned into their original molds, the colors clearing up until they were two recognizable persons again.

“Ai!” Momo made a dash for his friend, tears forcing out of his eyes. Sousuke stayed behind, looking over the two. They were asleep, soundly; next to each other, fingers still interlocked. The hibernation would take a while, depending on how much they needed to recharge. 

The view of Rin and Ai, perfectly in love and okay, softened the black gem’s gaze. He would let his tight fists loose unawares, a gesture he hadn’t made for centuries. And as the sun traveled across the sky, he wouldn’t squeeze his fingers into them again.


	9. Departure

Birdsong.

Ai laid on his side. Tall grass was hemming him in, and for a moment, he observed it absently through half-lidded eyes. It was warm; it reminded him of the dream he had seen. Sunlight was spilling on his back, and pleased, the little gem made himself comfortable. Leisure wind made the blades shift and swing like tiny dancers, and the shadow show kept him entertained through his sleepiness. It was hard to keep watch. The flickering mending together now, Ai yawned, his outstretched hand meeting skin.

He perked up. Following his arm, the boy found out that his hand was being held. Sound asleep on the soft grass next to him, laid Rin. 

The blue gem stared at the image with flushed cheeks. Slowly, steadily, everything came flooding back; and finally, he knew everything of him... Eyes brightening, the last hint of sleep shed off his shoulders. Rin’s silhouette was the most beautiful thing under the midday sun, the strands of his hair poking out in the counter wind. 

Hidden from the world, the golden hay was bent underneath them, reminding him of what had been. The meadow had been the stage of all his fusions, the good and the bad ones. How much he would’ve wanted to grab Rin’s hand like this after unfusing from Sousuke, but had been too afraid! The memory felt distant and hazy now. Squeezing the man’s fingers a little, Ai thought of them. 

Rin had always protected him. In his own way from the shadows, the only way he knew, hesitant to bring it out in the open. Falling in love is leaving yourself vulnerable, and Ai knew how terrifying that was. But the bright place where it had led them was worth every turn of knife, their insecurity and doubt. 

The peace and harmony generated by their fusion still inhabited the gem’s soul. Anchoring himself by Rin had aided him to find the freedom of being he had never felt before… Alongside other sensations he had been unknowing of. It was making him nervous, but glancing down at their intertwined fingers was enough consolation. He knew Rin was the same; it had become another thing that they shared. Ai hadn’t even realized how similarly strong he felt about him and his pale blue, disproportionate form. Although his image in Rin’s head differed greatly from his own shame-colored, it couldn’t be shaken. He would forever be adored and astonished by him.

Ai turned his shy gaze to the source of all that love, and Rin watched him back; proving everything true with his smile. He gestured him closer, and Ai proceeded, falling over to where the hay hid their existence. There, the red gem swept him in his arms, and they held each other in an astonished silence. 

It was a great feeling; to be loved. In its simplicity, it was just what was needed in undoing the hurt in him. Burying his nose in the crook of his neck, Ai breathed out, his once empty hands full with having. Rin’s hair was soft let down, and it made him wish that they could forever stay like that; in an embrace on a sunny field...

But not every dream last. Rin pulled back, his face conveying a message that was beyond Ai. This was not a fusion, but unlike in a fusion, the blue gem was able to see him and was fast occupied with how long Rin’s eyelashes were, and how they were curved… But what Rin had been trying to deliver was that they weren’t alone, and soon Ai sensed it, too. 

Sousuke had been waiting for their awakening. In their green ocean, the pair sat up, like the island sticking out from the surrounding sea. He stood in the shadow of the forest, and they realized that his revival hadn’t only been their fusion’s lucid dream; he had gained his spirit back in the real world, too. But the unsolved things between them remained in existence. And so, just like in the beginning, both parties were silent and unchangeable -waiting for the storm... But something told them that this encounter would take a different path than the last.

The black gem approached, and knelt down in front of them. Him giving up his higher position made them equal, revealing the mutual respect that had been invisible. Now, they weren’t opponents on this arena, more like survivors of the same hurricane. Sousuke opened with the evident, and the trees and the birds listened.

“I can see that you’ve told him, Ai”.

The owner of the name blushed, guilty as if he had a reason to be. Rin’s expression furrowed further, and reassuringly, he squeezed the smaller gem’s palm. Even now he was yet to let his hand go. 

Sousuke met their silence with surprising dignity. He was used to being misunderstood, mistrusted, and mistreated; but those two weren’t that kind of people. Feeling the cobwebs creak, the gem looked for ways to express something that he had never; remorse and the fact that he cared. Turning to the other man now, he said:

“I just wanted to say that I understand if you won’t forgive me, Rin.”

“I do.”

Rin’s surprising plead prompted a questioning raise of brow. “Do you hear what you’re saying?”, Sousuke gnarled. To him, it seemed that the red gem was belittling his rare attempt of apology, his efforts once again underrated. But that just wasn’t the case.

“I forgive you, Sousuke”. 

It was there. In his signature stare; the convincing intensity of the deep rubies’ burn. Rin wasn’t messing around with him. His expression didn’t flicker; the seriousness of it granting the awaited approval. It declared Sousuke that Rin must have thought about it a lot, and had already made up his mind.

It made Sousuke realize that Rin must have known.

Rin from Iwatobi. Rin with a perfect life.  
Sousuke had chosen Rin because Rin possessed everything he had missed out in life: validation, admiration, love. He had been everything the black gem had wanted to be, and he had been jealous of how easy he had made connecting look like. Prosperity had come flooding to him; the king’s heir, without asking anything in return. 

From the day they had met, he had planned on using him; to train and if needed, to fuse. He had wanted to break him. There was few things in his jealousy that he wouldn’t do; Sousuke had felt like he needed to strip him from his wealth, to make him as miserable as he was. It was the only way he had known to keep people around him; unable to manage his own self, he had needed to control someone else.

But somewhere along the line he had understood that there was no taming a great fire like Rin. He had caught him off guard; constantly opening up to him, trusting him. He had been the first of their kind to ever do so. The day Sousuke had realized that he considered him more of a companion he had come to regret ever making him do those things. But it had been done, and so he had swore he would never tell him the truth. But what he didn’t consider, was that Rin had already known.

He had been knowing. Rin had this exterior; fixating on people in order to solve his own problems. But in reality, there was no one he hated as much as he hated himself. It had been easy to put the blame in others for his annihilation, but deep down, Rin had known that it was his own handiwork. The only way he had known how to live was in pain, and as the master of his own demise, he had come to terms with it during his time with Sousuke.

They had been built on hollow ground. Fighting had been their excuse to torture themselves, to bring themselves down with the other, to beat their problems thoroughly. Now, the journey was over.

Sousuke let out a dry laugh. He didn’t know how to make him justifiably hate him; in Rin’s head, he deserved all the abandonment and hurt that he had brought. But so ironic that it was, Sousuke wanted to repel his sins now. And he knew far too well who had trained him into that.

There was no taming a great fire like Rin. It would only lead to his fading out or lashing out severely. What they had, could not last; it had only suppressed his flame. With Ai though, he had air to breathe.

Before his arrival, they had spent the nights talking; his intervention had ruined it. It was time to leave.

“If you say so.” Sousuke took a deep inhale, turning his eyes away. He was ready. Forgiven by everyone, including himself, he was freed from his curse -the wolf in his head that had spoken by his mouth was killed. Without the mental chains he would bloom; turn around all the centuries he had been bleeding. 

The man got up, and pulled up a warp from the thin air. It sparkled and glistened just like it had done the last time by the riverbed. On the day one; where all the rage, all the smooth words and moves had been a built up set, none of them giving away anything real. Illuminated by it, Rin and Ai watched him go. While the glow touched their faces with gentle hands, the gem’s raw honesty touched them deeper.

The duo kept staring at the place Sousuke had occupied a long while after he had left. For so long that he had inhabited the island with them, his departure felt awfully precipitate. As beautiful as the moment had been, it affirmed nothing in their hearts: and both silently pondered if it was alright to let him leave like that, hoping that he’d finally find his place in the Homeworld.

Soon enough, they got something else to think. Momo had found their secret place. The hassle he brought in his footsteps was able to make Ai laugh again, and refreshed, Rin watched them heartily. The trio toured around the island’s beach together, the red gem still refusing to let go of his hand. Momo made a mental note of it, but didn’t pick on him.

It was odd; everything felt out of place. The dust had settled, but Ai continued to feel uneasy. The island had never been that quiet and lively simultaneously -he could hear the birds and the rustle of the forest over Momo’s prolonged chattering. There was still things waiting to be resolved, a change waiting to happen. He didn’t know how, but Sousuke’s departure had opened the cage, turning the view around him unrecognizable.

He felt his body being yanked. Rin had stopped on his tracks to wait up for the third gem that had been left behind on the path. Momo drew circles on the sand with the tip of his shoe sheepishly, his sulking gaze lowered.

“What is it, Momo?”, Ai asked.

“I… should go home.” The orange head popped up, revealing the pained expression on his face. “I’ve been here for over three days -they’ll soon start to look out for me.”

So Ai and Rin walked him to the warp pad. The joyous atmosphere was gone; in its place the heartache of having to wave another friend goodbye. The sunshine boy obviously didn’t want to go. Reluctant to let Ai go from his tight hug, he squeezed him hard, until his toes were barely touching the ground. In spite of the gem’s tiny voice telling him over and over that it wasn’t the end, he couldn’t be reassured. 

Ai was convinced that they would meet again. He didn’t know how or where, but there wasn’t a force in the whole Homeworld that would halt it from happening. On the brink of tears, he held Momo's face for the last time. How blessed he was to have a friend like him.

Afterwards, Ai and Rin found themselves silent again.

The wind creaked in the trees. It was unnaturally silent otherwise; as if all life had come to a halt. They hadn’t said a word to each other after the fusion. Now, when everyone else was gone, the leaves on the path rustled as it guided them to the lake. 

It was the stage on which they had first acknowledged each other. And just like that, they had arrived back to that night when they had been first alone together. Ai felt a rush of overwhelm pass by him; he shivered, watching the trees bend over the water. Their shrinking leaves barely reached to graze the immobile mirror below. He, too, felt barely connected to life; the changes getting underneath his skin. Like an era had come to an end, they were right where it had began. It made his knees weak; and he was grateful to be pulled into the arms of his lover.

Rin caught him. Hands around the smaller gem’s waist, he laid them down. He was familiar with the shiver that overtook the smaller gem, and navigated his hands up and down his sides in a calming manner, stroke after stroke. 

There was nothing else to do. Diving into each other, the gems settled into an embrace, just hovering on the brink of a fusion. Having nothing to walk on the edges of, they laid their open hearts on the grass. It was a strange peace; still and undisturbed like the surface of the lake in front of them. Now, the blossoming garden was again just what it was, an oasis of theirs -and the two gems were together, whole in the middle of a fractured world. 

Rin thought that it must have been where they belonged. On the shore of that lake, in each other’s arms -for what they had possibly been made for. The thought settled onto his shoulders, replacing the worry, pain and fear that had once resided there. Hands in Ai’s hair, he thought how differently his life would’ve flowed if he had never found him; from that small island, the small gem, undistinguished from its grass and waters. Holding him tighter, Rin felt blessed to have him. 

He had been running for so long, that it felt strange to lay down. He had thought that only his disappearance would earn him forgiveness. But now, hugging Ai, he thought of the opposite. Who would be there for the boy if he had been shattered? His dependency granted him the confidence that he had been lacking while swimming deep in dark waters. 

He had wanted to be someone else, a new gem. Someone who had never hurt anyone. At the point where he had plummeted into the cold water and burnt out, he had already ran for months. Who knows how far he would’ve gone, how many miles his feet would’ve carried him before he would’ve turned to ash? Who else could’ve made him realize that his past wasn’t a place he would be able to escape? Rin felt insufficient. Running through ten million roads would never undo the things he had done, would never bring him back to the starting line. He knew that now. 

Ai had gently guided him through, with the confidence of having walked there before. Letting his past enclose him had been the single most hurtful thing Rin had ever done, but it was the only thing that had had to be done. Facing his unutterable sin and the incomplete man he was... While Ai had been there for him.

Ai had been there for him from the beginning. Yeah, from the day he had dragged his unconscious body to the riverside. And it occurred Rin, just how much the boy had done to him and continued to do. Rin felt like he had never loved anything as much as he loved him. 

It had never been the island, really. It had been his early sense of peace that had kept him there; the notion that it had everything he had been looking for. His unattainable desire to belong, in flesh.

Ai squirmed against his chest. Rin looked down to meet the constellations in his eyes, the dazzling radiance capturing him as if for the first time. As Ai peered up at him shyly, the red gem felt like he had lost nothing at all. 

“It’s just us”, Rin breathed. He nuzzled his face into the soft down of Ai’s neck, his voice a low murmur in his ears. “What do you want to do?”

Ai felt his warm breath, heard his gentle inquiry, but could not answer. He thought about it for a moment. To be given the power to choose, and not to just succumb to the terms and conditions of some outside force was new to him. In fact, most of it was; laying in the arms of the person he loved, feeling safe. Trusting himself to the other unconditionally was something he never would’ve thought he would be able to do. The decades of loneliness had convinced him so; but soft with Rin, he gently pushed it aside...

Being held felt everything but restrictive. Just like in their fusion; for a fleeting moment they had been infinite. As if his soul had no longer been bound to that cramped shell of a body but merged into light. There he had felt free for the first time; to roam the shores, the coastline, the sea -everywhere he had wanted to go. And now the beautiful dream had become reality: he would travel anywhere in the Homeworld with him.

Ai had his hands on the hem of Rin’s shirt. The tender intimacy thickened, their open future dazed with the limitless possibilities. But the gem had an idea on the verge of his mind, one he knew Rin needed. 

“I think I know what we need to do”, he whispered. Rin guessed what he was proposing. He fixed his gaze far, far into the horizon, to where he knew his responsibility laid. It was time for them to leave, too.

“_Let’s go to Iwatobi._”

Looking back to their story, it seemed that everything that had happened had happened for a reason. Would Rin have never left his village, had he ever met Ai. If Sousuke had never make an acquaintance of Rin, he would have never been freed from his curse. Despite all the pain and agony that had occurred, better things were coming.

The island held its breath in the night. Only the wind in the trees told that the time had stopped existing; now, there was only the rotating of seasons, the night drifting out of the way of the approaching dawn. You can't stop the change from coming; nature rises from every crack there is, inescapably overgrowing every destructed thing. It finds worth in the broken. Flowers with dew on their petals, the shades of green tarnishing in the trees, were the only witnesses of the inexplicable beauty of the things left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Island Paradise_ is a Pantone color coded 14-4620 (look it up). I used to have the chart on my wall while writing, and it was great inspiration alongside the Steven Universe song _Be Wherever You Are_. I first thought of this AU when I first heard that song, which must've been in 2015... So many years ago lol
> 
> I only got to write this after Heart of the Labyrinth in 2017. It took long because I struggled with the plot; this final version has a LOT of stuff trimmed (the rest of the fusions, Ai's past in more detail, the reason for the broken warp pad etc.). I only added Rin and Ai's final fusion out of impulse in the last minute LOL, the story must've been very different without it
> 
> Anyways, this is it for rambling, thank you for reading my romantic nonsense & let's hope I'll see you again! I want to keep writing Rintori ;;;


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